The mask I put on to cover my sadness. The depression I'm dealing with. The fake face so no one knows. Except one person.
My love always can tell. He can pick it up immediately. The times I try to hide my sadness from him never prevails.
I know I'll never able too. I can plaster a smile on my face but the truth will always show with my eyes. The joys of my eye color darkening when in sorrow.
The light just dimming in my eyes. While I have the fake face showing. By myself my face is resting to my true feelings. The stress of life and worries.
I do have moments of true happiness. My little family brings me. Medically I'm complicated. Chemical imbalance.. I will go through fazes of my fake face because of depression.
Depression I wish never existed but it's out my control. The control I have is to help my brain with meds. At times I feel like they're slowly not working. Does it need to be higher? Do I need to try something different?
I won't know because I rather put a fake face on than feel like a zombie. I don't want to experience that zombie like stage. Feeling like myself. Putting not always genuine smile on my face. Is better than feeling like a zombie that I once did.
YOU ARE READING
Internal Woes
PoesiaPoetry that contains life experiences. childhood trauma, a woman battling anxiety and depression. Thank you if you choose to read this. If it's triggering to you it's okay to not continue reading. Your mental health matters.
