Book 2: Beginning Again -Carlos Sainz

Chapter 34

Carlos' brain felt like it had expanded into his skull and was crushing every thought he had. He felt movement next to him as he peeked open one eye to see a mess of brown hair. He immediately closed his eyes.

"Why is Marie's hair brown?" Carlos thought as his brain started to wake up. Every second made his headache worse. He opened his eye again, seeing the same mess of hair. Confusion riddled his brain as he drifted back to sleep again, seeking some relief from his headache. By the time Carlos drifted back to consciousness and opened his eyes, the girl was gone. He turned his head, looking at his alarm clock- 11am. He groaned as he thought to the last time he slept this late.

"Where'd Marie go? She's probably in the bathroom," he thought as he sat up and went to try to find his phone. He looked at the bedside table and saw the condom wrapper next to his phone.

"That's weird, we stopped using those a while ago," he thought as he rubbed his temples. He grabbed his phone and saw the onslaught of messages, including the 'are you alive' text from his assistant. He replied quickly and saw another message- from Caroline.

Hey, I snuck out this morning but I had fun last night :Caroline

"Wait, what?" Carlos thought as the night started coming back to him. The club, the drinking, seeing his friends, the dancing. The running home and then... oh god.

"We... had sex," Carlos thought as the flashbacks returned. Initially, he felt good. He was ready to stop being sad all the time and more than ready to stop thinking about Marie all the time. There was nothing like moving on with another girl, and Carlos was ready to move on. He looked at the sheets, remembering the mess of brown hair he saw this morning. He was brought back to all of the mornings with Marie where they drank coffee in bed, talking. It was his favorite part of the day, and he dreaded the mornings after they broke up. He sat in bed, waiting to feel better. Waiting to stop being haunted by the memories of Marie, waiting to feel like the man he once was. The truth was that Carlos could barely get through his days without feeling plagued by memories. And being hungover, he didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. His brain roamed through all of the memories- the quiet mornings, the trips they took, the earth-shattering sex they had. It wasn't long before Carlos felt the tears running down his cheeks, letting the sadness overtake him. He couldn't believe what he had turned into, a guy who was sitting in his bed, crying over a woman. The realization had been creeping up on him for weeks, but he knew it was clear as day now. He was fully, unequivocally, disgustingly in love with her. She had ruined all other women for him, in fact, she had ruined everything for him. Meals made him think about her, sunsets made him wish she was there to see it, bad days made him wish he could pull her into his arms and breathe deeply. He wiped the tears off his face as he laid back down in his bed, pulling the sheets over his head. He couldn't stop thinking that it was the biggest mistake he had ever made.

"She told me she loved me," he thought, feeling a rush of sadness. "And I broke up with her?"

Carlos' mind instantly went back to the fateful week in January when he came down with a minor cold, even though he insisted it must have been some horrible mutated flu strain that was much, much worse.

Carlos was in his bed, under the covers, surrounded by the mass of tissues he had acquired. He had just woken up, even though it was almost 11:30am and the sun was streaming out of his window begging him to get up. He let out a groan as he rolled over and checked his phone, opening up his messages. Marie hadn't replied to him in a while, but he knew she was busy at work, with Gavin letting her hire new staff. He smiled to himself thinking of her reaction when Gavin gave her the good news. Carlos's smile dropped when he heard sounds coming from his front door. The adrenaline rushed through his body as he reached under his bed to grab his baseball bat. He didn't bother to put on clothes as he crept forward towards the door. The doorknob turned and the door opened right as Carlos prepared to swing on whatever crazed fan had violated his personal space enough to break into his home.