Book 2: Beginning Again -Carlos Sainz

Chapter 17

"Okay I told you, it's all just a game. He said to me that he just likes messing with me. It's entertainment, which is what it all was originally supposed to be. I'm the one who got in my own head about feelings," Marie said as she watched the white fluffy clouds pass her out the window.

"You said all these things, but I don't believe you. I saw what I saw and the way he looks at you doesn't lie," Erin replied through the phone.

"How many times will we argue about this?" Marie said, exasperated.

"As many times as it takes for you to woman the fuck up and tell him how you feel," Erin said, suggesting that it was the easiest thing in the world.

The two said their goodbyes and hung up as Marie snuggled down into her oversized seat next to the window. Even a weekend with Erin wasn't enough for Marie to feel like she got her proper girl time- she still had so many spinning questions about Carlos. She let out a sigh of relief thinking about how the season was almost over and she would soon be back to her real life in London for the break. More friend time, less time with confusing Spanish boys who looked like a real life prince charming. It wasn't long before her dad sat down in front of her with the classic dad sigh, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Hey, I wanted to wait until Erin left to have a chat with you. As your boss," he started with a serious tone. His voice alone made Marie sit up in her seat. "Your work these past few weeks has been... lackluster. It feels like you've been distracted by something and your work is suffering. I just wanted to have a talk with you now, before Brazil so we can hopefully fix this."

Awkwardness filled the air as they looked at each other, Marie losing her words.

"I... I'm sorry. I have been... distracted. I will do better," she said, now avoiding eye contact.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, as boss or dad. I think that our social media presence has drastically improved, but things have just stalled out after your last video. We have a meeting in Brazil with the whole team."

Marie tried not to take anything personally, but when it was your own flesh and blood expressing their disappointment in you, it was hard not to feel anything else. She knew that she really needed a good cry after this, but not now. She opened up her laptop and got to work, finishing some past-due assignments and drafting new ideas to keep things fresh. She knew he wasn't wrong. She knew that she had been more focused on a boy than anything else these past weeks. She could tell that she was sacrificing everything she had ever worked for and strived for over a guy. A very, very hot guy, but a guy nonetheless. Marie couldn't help but feel a bit angry at herself for doing this. She was so much more than just a woman pining after a man. The story of her life was not just a rom-com, it had a main character with depth. A main character with a job and career aspirations she valued. She vowed at that moment to re-focus on the things that mattered. She worked the whole rest of the flight until she felt the wheels of the plane bounce on the tarmac. She grabbed her phone and turned off airplane mode, reading the few texts that came in as her phone updated. One particular text caught her eye.

Carlos: You promised you'd see me in Brazil and I'm holding you to it.

Marie stared at the words, briefly letting herself remember how it felt to be with him. How it felt when he kissed her like he never wanted to let her go. She wanted to see him, more than anything, but her dad's words rang out in her brain like a broken record. She sighed as she turned off the phone, deciding to continue to ignore him like she had been doing for the past two weeks. When her dad had to stop by the factory, she made sure to have other plans. She avoided his texts, even his instagram stories of him all sweaty and working out. Thankfully, she had airplane mode to help her feel better about not replying.

**

Carlos had just flopped onto his bed, letting the fluffy white comforter puff up all around him. He knew he only had a short time to squeeze in a power nap before attending some meetings. He had hoped to see Marie at these meetings more than anything, and have an excuse to talk to her. He looked down at his phone, staring at his still unanswered text. He slammed his phone into the mattress, trying not to let his frustration get to him. He knew he liked her, he couldn't continue to lie to himself, but he had absolutely no idea how to find out if she felt the same way. He didn't want to be the one who caught feelings in a sex-only situation, but he had a gut feeling that she felt the same way. Except it felt like she was avoiding him at all costs, and now not even replying to texts. The sound of an incoming text made Carlos grab his phone in a millisecond to see if it was her.

Veronica: Are you in Brazil? I'd love to see you for drinks tonight 🙂

Thinking about Veronica made Carlos' head spin. He had barely even thought about another girl since he realized his feelings for Marie. Even when he was getting off and would normally think about the array of model conquests under his belt, he could only think of her and replay their insanely hot hookups in his mind. Normally, he would've already hit Veronica up and would be prepping for a marathon night. But he laid there, looking at the words and waiting to feel something.

"This is insane, normally I'd be knocking down my door to go see Veronica and I feel nothing? I cannot be this into Marie. This isn't me, I don't do this. I need to reboot and get her out of my system before I look like an idiot confessing feelings," he thought as he picked up his phone.

Drinks tonight at 8? Our usual spot? :Carlos

Veronica: Works for me. Can't wait to see you.

Carlos felt a pang of nausea hit as he watched her reply, some part of him hoping she wouldn't be available. He tried to convince himself that this was a good idea up until he had to leave for his meetings.

**

"And it was soooo crazy. I mean I just cannot believe she did that! Right?"

Carlos could barely hear the words that were coming out of Veronica's mouth as he sat there, looking at her. He was waiting. Waiting to feel something, anything, for the girl that sat in front of him. She was beautiful, there was no denying that, but somehow it just wasn't the same to him anymore. Like where there was once a fire, only a pile of ash laid.

"Uhm, hello? Earth to Carlos?" Veronica said as she waived a perfectly manicured hand in front of Carlos' face, causing him to snap out of his head.

"Yes, hi. That was a really crazy story!" he replied, then taking a long sip of his drink.

"I know right! God, I love Ibiza," Veronica continued, not noticing Carlos' continued distance as he slipped back into his head.

"I should be feeling something," he thought as he watched her continue on with an animated story. "I should be practically chasing down the waiter for our check so that I can take her back to my room. I should be sitting here thinking about how little sleep I'll be getting tonight."

Carlos took another long swig of his drink as he glanced down at his phone in his lap, tapping the screen. No new messages. Well, plenty of messages from friends, colleagues, and DM's from random women, but not the one person he was waiting for. Before he could realize what he was doing, Carlos was signaling the waiter for the check, throwing his napkin onto the table.

"Oh, are we heading out?" Veronica said as she cocked her head to the side with a sly grin.

"Yes, yes we are," Carlos replied as he matched her grin.

Veronica leaned over the table, a move that she had no doubt perfected as she said, "My place or yours?"

Carlos leaned in to match her stance keeping the now intense eye contact as he replied,

"Mine."