Book 2: Beginning Again -Carlos Sainz

Chapter 25

Carlos looked out the window of his new home, glancing down to his favorite beach spot where he took Marie. Everything he owned was in boxes, all around him, and he knew that the minute he turned around to see them, he would have to face the reality that he lived in this home without her. Normally a beautiful day with crystal clear skies in Monaco would have him outside running or doing something, but all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He only had one day to get things half organized here before he left for Baku, but he had no energy. He hadn't had energy since he had stopped sleeping, which coincided with that day in Madrid. He could barely function like this, much less perform to the top of his game at the next race. He knew what he needed to do as he pulled out his phone and tapped on Marie's name. He went to go look at her location, something that he had secretly been doing lately just to have some peace of mind that she was safe. He quickly noticed that she unshared her location with him. The hurt panged through his body as he impulsively hit the call button. He was still staring at the ocean when he heard the line ring. Her voicemail came through, and even hearing her happy voicemail made him want to cry.

"Uh hey, Marie it's me. I'm calling to see if you wanted... to talk sometime. I'm actually looking at the beach in Monaco right now and I thought about you. I think..."

"I miss you so much it's literally eating me alive and I think I made the biggest mistake," Carlos thought, losing his train of thought and what he wanted to say.

"I just think we should talk. Okay bye."

"What have I become? Seriously, what the hell is this? Pining? Begging? I am not the kind of guy to go crawling back to a woman, I was barely a relationship guy when this started," Carlos thought to himself, pacing around his home. Once he got started, he couldn't stop.

"This was a good thing, the right thing. I can't be tied down and I shouldn't be tied down. I don't do love. I don't do monogamy. I got out before things got complicated and messy and... everything."

It was the first break from his constant wallowing pity party that he had in days, and he welcomed it like water on a hot day. He continued until he was muttering about how hot he was as he angrily unpacked clothes.

**

"I just think we should talk. Okay bye."

Marie hit delete message before she let her heart hit redial. She switched tabs over to messages, shooting her text to Erin. If her best friend wasn't in full prep mode for fashion week in South America, she knew that she would be right by her side. Marie even reassured Erin several times that she was going to be okay. Whether that was a lie or not, remained to be seen.

He just called me and left me a voicemail saying he wants to talk: Marie

Erin: WHAT??? Are you going to talk to him? What if he wants to get back together

Guarantee he just wants to clear the air before the race: Marie

Erin: would you want to get back together with him?

Don't ask me that yet: Marie

Erin: Well I still think he's a right fucking prick asshole fuckboy and if you do want him back he's gotta do the best grovelling he's ever done.

Agreed. I just don't know how I'm gonna get through this weekend: Marie

Erin: Say the word and I'm there, seriously. Work comes and goes but you are my forever.

Marie worked really hard not to immediately burst out into tears at the message, noticing how emotionally on-edge she had been lately. She almost cried at the car commercial on the TV the other day. She set her phone down and returned to her computer, letting out a stressed sigh. There was no way she was going to get out of going to this race, and she hadn't even told her dad about their breakup. She wanted to control the environment in which she broke the news, and maybe watch her dad punch him in the face. She was pulled out of her thoughts by an intern fast approaching with a stressed look.