Book 2: Beginning Again -Carlos Sainz

Chapter 29

"That stupid, goddamn motherfucking-" Marie thought.

"Hey, good to see you, uhhh..." Carlos said as he shook Mark's hand.

Marie rolled her eyes as she said, "Mark. His name is Mark."

"It's fine, I mean you've got a lot of people around you," Mark said with a nervous laugh.

"No, Mark, it's not okay. He should know your name," Marie said with unintentional sass.

Marie felt the intense staring from Carlos as she looked at Mark. Mark, being the intelligent man he was, picked up on the tension and quickly excused himself to go to the other bar. Marie silently begged him to stay, needing the buffer that he provided more than she would care to admit.

"Hi," Carlos said softly, taking Mark's place next to her.

Marie stared straight forward as she replied, "Hello."

"It's really good to see you."

"You too."

"I... tried calling you a few times and you never responded."

"I know."

Silence hung between them as they stepped to the front of the line. Marie opened her mouth to order, but Carlos interrupted her.

"Vodka soda, titos, four limes, and a beer."

"You could say please," Marie snapped at him.

"Please," Carlos added, flashing a smile to the bartender that practically made her drop the glass in her hand.

"Please talk to me," Carlos said, turning to Marie who was still facing forward. She knew that the minute she looked into his beautiful eyes that she would be spouting the truth.

"I am talking to you."

"You won't even look at me."

Marie took a deep breath. She knew it was time to face it, to look into his eyes and not let him disarm her. She turned her head to meet his gaze, feeling her body start to heat up immediately. He had let his facial hair grow out a little bit and it suited him, not like anything would make him look ugly. He looked at her with a pleading gaze. She half smiled at him as she said, "I'm looking at you right now."

"Will you just give me a chance to talk? To explain everything? I want things to be good between us."

Marie felt herself hesitating, wondering how much easier it would feel to just give into him and feel his body next to hers again. To feel his body heat, his strong muscles, and his large hand on her waist. She knew how good it would feel, how safe and warm it would be to just fall into someone she knew so well. Her thoughts were interrupted by that little memory of him saying "Marie, I don't know what to say I mean I've just been so busy lately and with everything going on and my expectations from the team I just don't think I can... do this anymore."

The quick pain in her heart brought her back to reality, the harsh reality that he didn't love her. And the harsher reality that she did love him.

"I can't."

There was a beat of silence as shock crossed Carlos' face.

"What?"

"I just have no interest in having that discussion. I am open to talking about anything work related, but nothing else."

Coldness emanated out of her words, like crackling ice. She knew it was cold and brutal, but it was the truth. She was only in the business of saving herself from more pain and more heartache that would only inevitably hurt her worse. Marie looked to Carlos who remained speechless as she grabbed her drink, tipped the bartender, and turned around to leave. She kept her shoulders back and her stride long, even though she reached up to wipe the tear that had formed in the corner of her eye.