TF2: Doctor's Assistant

Worried...

I still regret choosing to train as a Scout...or at least agreeing to it. I'm good with smaller guns, but speed is an issue. Yes, I do like running, and I would definitely be a better Scout if I could run as fast as my trainer, or...if my body didn't object so strongly to it. I could run, but not for long. I would've sworn that I'd never had this issue before I came here. 

I would say it's all the battles and the stresses of training that gave me this. The constant reminder of staying on my guard cornered by the threat of being pumped full of bullets or blown to pieces by a well aimed missile. I could've used this fear to motivate myself into not letting that happen, but I ended up doing the exact opposite. I decided to be afraid of the battle field and let the fear consume me until it became a permanent problem I couldn't shrug away anymore. 

So, running was out of my league, but what else am I supposed to do? I'm a lot smaller compared to the bigger and stronger men I work alongside. I couldn't dream of carrying a Minigun or a Rocket Launcher, I didn't have the patience for sentries and dispensers, my hands shook too much to be a Sniper, I got overly anxious when handling explosives or fire...and that's not even mentioning the heart attack I'd get from being a Spy. I couldn't handle anything but my own Scattergun and pistol.

 It wasn't even my choice, and I'm not happy with it, but it's just the only thing left that I'm capable of doing. I don't feel that I fit in much, and I started getting worried about my problems and how they would make me fail the team...so...

I stayed away from everyone...

I felt the best I could do was lie low and hope that things would get better. Even though this was a relief to my own anxieties, it didn't make things better for the others.