TF2: Doctor's Assistant

(6) Batter Out!

My heart thudded in my chest.

"I...what..?" I asked, eyes widened. He looked at me again and repeated himself.

"You, zhe Scout in training, have to fight for him until he recovers." He made sure that he made himself clear that time, pointing to me mid-sentence to signify that he was talking to me, and frowning. I gulped. He was being serious. I suddenly shook my head.

"N..no.." I objected. "I can't go out there. I..I..."

"Of course you could.." He interrupted. "You've been in training for the past 4 months, ja?" He looked at me curiously. I nodded.

"Well...yes...but I still don't think you should just throw me out on the field like that." I started to shake again, not knowing whether it was coming from nervousness or my rising aggravation. I looked down, fidgeting with my hands. 

"Vhy can't we?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. His composure was now really making me worried, almost looking like an angry parent. As I stammered in stupid rambling sentences we both went into the clinic and I followed him as we walked through the room, still trying to explain myself.

"I just can't. S-Scouts only trained me on how to use the Scattergun and-"

"I'm positive zhat you don't need to be told how to use a pistol or a baseball bat." He interrupted, stopping and turning around to look at me. I frowned at him again. It seemed all the softness in his expression from before was replaced with his usual attitude. He usually tried to push me if it seemed like I was having trouble, and he seemed to be thinking that it would motivate me, but it was only making me more frustrated with him.

"Well, no, but are you sure I won't just...slow you guys down?" I asked, trying to get somewhere with what I was saying.

"Slow us down?" he asked. "Not unless you vanted to. I don't see vhy you vould do zhat on purpose..."

"Well...I wouldn't, but maybe being a class down wouldn't hurt anything." I said back, a bit unsure of where I was going with it. 

He sighed, pausing for a minute before pushing his glasses back up on his nose. He then turned and kept walking further into the room and I followed. It was very dark in the room with just enough light to find our way around. He led me to his work space of the past few hours and...there was Scout, now neatly tucked under some blankets, but I could see some of the bandages that had been wrapped all the way up his chest. I noticed that it turned out that I was right before in hearing the Medi gun, for it was now gently streaming down on him, rebuilding his waist ever so slowly. His expression was so calm it almost scared me. I looked down at him and...I instantly felt even worse than before. 

"It vill slow us down...even more vith no Scout at all, Frau." he replied, in a voice so gentle. His face illumined slightly by the soft red glow of the Medi gun. I sighed quietly. I didn't want to believe he was right. I did want to help the team...but...something I couldn't even admit to myself was now screaming in my head. The very thing that was making Medic so easily back me into a corner.

I was too scared...

I was honestly too scared to fight. I was hoping that by the time I was asked to help in a battle that I would've surpassed my problems, been determined to get out there and help the team save their base. To be among those who were willing to die to defend...like Scout...

But here I was...pleading not to be thrown onto the field. 

I felt pathetic and small. With nothing else to say, I looked away, ashamed. He must've been thinking for a while, because a good few minutes passed before he called my name, which caught my attention...because no one, ever, does that around here. I looked back over at him very hesitantly. He held a look between worry and concern. 

"I really vish I could help you..." he said. My heart dropped low in my stomach. "but..I'm only telling you vhat everyone else vill...so I'm afraid vhether you like it of not...you still have to..." I looked away again, hiding the guilt that was once again appearing in my eyes. I knew it. I was a goner. Who'd ever heard of someone joining a team just to die in their first mission?

"Just...give it a chance." He gently turned my head with his gloved hand, making me look at him. "All you have to do, Scout, is follow us, don't hold still for too long, vatch your back, and run forward vhen we tell you to. There vill come chances vhere you'll have to make a quick choice, but it von't be too hard...and if you ever get hurt...just call out to me, and I'll try my hardest to be zhere for you..."

I looked down at Scout again and nodded quietly, but I was trembling. It sounded easy enough, and I hoped with my life that it would be that easy. I trusted that he would help, and that I should count on myself a little more. I already had way more skill than when I first came, so I hoped that things would go well.

I wasn't wrong...but I wasn't right either...