Hold Me Close

Chapter Twelve.

We sat on his bed in silence, his room was pulled apart, photo albums were all over the floor, along side pages covered in writing.

"What's with all the photo albums, and pages? ",

" I'm trying to remember by going through the photo albums, and the pages are the memories that were revealed through my dreams" he didn't look to me while saying this, just at the mess on the floor.

"Can I read one? ",

He nodded so i bend over and picked up the closest page to me.

It read:

It's her again, it's always her. This time we're kids, two little children sitting on a swing set, she's laughing and I am too, she stops and just smiles at me. The next night I dreamt of her again, we're older in this dream, I try to sit closer to her, I guess I wanted to touch off of her, I'm not all that sure. Her hair is longer in this dream, it hits the arch in back and she plays with it alot, she looks to me and smiles, she always smiles, "james isn't your best friend is he?" she asks this with the smile still on her face, I then laugh, and reply with a no, she lools closely at me "you're my best friend Ann".

"I forgot all about that memory" I look to him now and hes looking back at me, "Ann, they took me, why?" he sounded so scared and fragile, I just wanted to hug him,

"you tried to touch my hand" I sighed,

"oh" was all he said,

"I missed you so much when you were gone, Chris I never expect that to happen, and I wish it didn't, there's so many more memories I wish you could remember, we have so mamy together and I cherish all of them",

"really? ", this was the first time I seen him smile since he got back, I couldn't help but notice the chip in his front tooth.

" Of course , you're my best friend",

"I wanted to speak to you about that, were we dating or anything like that? " he sounded embarrassed asking me this,

" no" ishook my head, "why?"

"Because when I wake up and think about these memories that I have, I feel like I might just-"

He was cut of by the sound of my ringtone filling the room.

I pulled it from my pocket and hit answer on the unknown caller.

"hello? "

" Hey it's Derek, my mam wanted me to invite you for dinner tomorrow, you don't have to come but she made me ring and ask, she's standing next to me", I could hear his mother scowl him on revealing it was her idea,

"Dinner sounds good" I laughed, "what time?"

"we usually have it at four so maybe you can come around two? "

" yeah that's perfect, I'll see you then"

I hit the hang up botton and looked to Chris who was staring at the floor again, "sorry, it was my sort of friend" I laughed, "what were you saying?"

"It's nothing, but I'm wondering if you can come over like twice a week for a few hours and help me remember things, I would say we could go out and see plaves and hope they trigger something but my mam doesn't want me leaving the house, she's really scared",

"I would be too, and of course, I'll come over everytime I can and we'll do this together, your not alone Chris, you never were and you never will be"

"thank you",

I smiled to him and looked around at the other papers, my eyes stopped on a page with my name written on it with a question mark, he followed my eyes and landed on it to and surprisingly stepped on it and kicked it away, "that's nothing, I was just trying to remember who you were the day that you showed up her"

"it's fine".

"Ann, why didn't they take you aswell?", I wasn't prepared for him to ask this but God knows I've dwelled on that thought for hours on end.

"To be honest, I really don't know, it could be bevause you went to touch me and I didn't act on that, but only the people that took you know exactly why, do you remember anything for it, anything at all? "

He fell bavk onto his bed and started at ceiling before speaking.

" I was in a dark room, I could see nothing, nothing at all, there was voices sometimes, they would tell me I'm a criminal and I should be dead by now, but that they needed me, then they would beat me, but the worse was the machine, they attached these cold things to my head and everytime they did that the more I forgot, but they told me before they left me half dead outside my garden that when the time was right I would remember" I could hear his voice crack during this, some tears fell from his eyes as he told me all of this, but still he layed there refusing to cry.

"Jesus, Chris I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel".

"That's not the worse of it, one day I'll get all my memories back, and these scars will heal, but it's all going to effect my future, I'm going to be in their books, so what happens when I settle down with someone and she wants children, if I walk into a hospital and ask can me and my wife start the process of genetically creating a baby, they're gonna take my name and then tell me they can't, I wont get work, I wont get nothing all because I went to touch you"

"I, I'm sorry", that's all I could manage to say to him,

"It's not your fault Ann, it was all me, you follow the law and I, well I was that stupid kid that tried to break it",

I wanted to tell Chris that i too had broken the law, that I held a boys hand and slept on his lap and next to him, and allowed him to touch my arms just so he knew he wasnt alone, but I didn't want to put myself and Derek into any more danger.

"Ann it's time to go" my father called up the stairs, I stood up and looked at my helpless best friend, "you habe my number, call me when you need me, and don't pretend to be your mam, it's ok if your the one who needs and wants me here", he just nodded,

"goodbye Chris".

I sat in the backseat of the car and listened to my music. Wrapping my headphones around my finger I tapped them along to the beat that played. The beat came to a stop amd my phone buzzed, I held the screen up and opened the message.

'I know I'm probably bugging you, but are you still busy or do you want to join me and some friends from my school for a small get together? :) '

I laughed at the message and how much he really needed a friend if he hadn't got a proper one.

' sounds good, I'm on my way home now x'

I hit send and placed my phone back onto my lap, and that's when it hit me, I grabbed the phone back up and went into the messages. I can't believe I just send him a kiss, he's going to think I'm a weirdo, oh god this can't be happening. I stared at the screen waiting for his message to come through. My phone buzzed and I scrolled down to see the new message with a knot in my stomach.

"great! I'll text you when I leave and get near your house"

I was mortified at the message, he ignored the kiss thankfully, but it was a little embarrassing to say the least, but then the phone buzzed again and held just on thing:

'X'

I stared at the phone before locking it and resting my head back against the chair with a small grin playing at the corners of my lips.

Now all I had to do was shower and find something that you wear to a small get together.