Hold Me Close

Chapter 24.

It had hit four in the morning and Sarah was still no where to be found. I had left the kitchen light on as I headed to bed. I guess leaving the light on was an attempted to allow her to know that I was home and safe, or maybe something to tell me that exact thing.

Even though I was in the safety of my bed covers I still couldn't shake this sickness that was in my stomach, the sickness of fear that had imbedded its self into my body, but it wasn't a fear for myself but one for Derek and Sarah, mostly Sarah.

I couldn't sleep, each car that passed the house was Sarah to me, I kept jumping from the bed to the window and peered out, but each one that passed was another that wasn't her.

After a failed attempt of trying to sleep it finally came naturally for the exhaustion that had hit me around eight that morning.

Waking up to an empty house and a heavy heart, I couldn't bear the silence and worry that had crept up into the room. I held my phone tight in my hand staring at my mothers phone number, I didn't want to call as I would have to explain that I had in some way forced Sarah to take me to Derek, but Sarah's safety was more important then a secret. Wasn't it?.

After some debating in my head I hit the call button and held my breath.

"Ann" my mothers phone rang through the speaker causing a burning feeling to rest in my throat,

"Mom, I, I really need to speak to you about Sarah" I sighed.

What would she think about the long await delay to inform her that I was in fact home alone with a missing aunt, and the boy who I wasn't to see had received a visit from me in the dead of night which had now placed me into this rather scary situation, the government wasn't the only thing I feared had crossed paths with Sarah it was also the everyday people that lurked along the lines of the law, touch was a firm and stable law, but that didn't mean some didn't grabble others for a car, or purse, or even murder. 

"What is it sweetie, is everything ok?"

"No mom, Sarah, well Sarah never-

Before I could finish that sentence I heard the front door open and then slam shut.

"Mom please wait a second"

"honey is everything ok?"

I didn't bother to answer her, I ran down the stairs and there she was.

Sarah stood at the kitchen counter, her face black from run down and wiped mascara, her eyes bulging and red and swollen lips to match the rest of her terrified face.

"Mom, I'll call you back"

I could hear my mother replying but the words only reached my ears in a mumble, I knew the look on Sarah's face all to well, it was once painted on to my fathers, onto Chris's mother and fathers and now it had been pealed and placed onto Sarah's.

"Sarah, you, you left me?" I awkwardly mumbled, trying to not pry into her broken moment.

"He's dead" was all she replied with.

She stared at the sink, her eyes drifting closed as new tears found there way out and rolled down her streaky cheeks, causing more stains in her runny mascara, her hands held the cabinet as if she felt that if she strayed from it she would be torn away from the house, but they shook, no matter how tight she held it her fingers shook and shook, as did her legs, I wondered how they could hold her, hold the bearing of death as her mind some how escaped it a she stared at the sink .

"who's dead Sarah?"

"what does it matter?" She whispered back,

"His name will never reach the news papers, his voice with never laugh down my phone again, he will never walk or smile or laugh or run, he wont enjoy the simple things like rain or hate the noise of the trains or the fact that somehow no matter what, his coffee order was always wrong" the tears fell more and more, and yet her eyes stayed on the sink,

"Sarah, I, I'm so sorry"

"I didn't even get to say goodbye, the last thing I told him was that I hate him, all because of a stupid fight, I didn't mean it, I don't hate him, I don't, I've never loved a person more".