Diaries

Chapter 6

It was as if I could feel the blood flowing through my veins, as my heart raced rapidly in my chest which I held onto. My eyes grew wide as I gripped harder...my heart was attacking the bones that caged it. Demanding a way out. I was going to die...

"Jessica."

I jumped at my own name, turning to see Mark fanning out his jersey.

"I just wanted to tell you sorry for the other...damn...what's wrong with you?" He trailed off.

I looked around the court, everyone scattered in their own directions for the ten minute break. As far as I knew I'd just gotten there, standing with my back against the wall.

"Huh?" I turned to him, trying my best to stay still though I felt like jumping, screaming, running...my leg continuously shook in place.

"Are you...Jessica..." He turned around with a smirk, searching the court for Swifty and with no sign of him turning back to me, "you high?" He asked.

I covered my face at once, peeking at him through the cracks, "how could you tell?" I mumbled into my hands.

"Your eyes are huge...and you look paranoid as shit."

"Look, fuck the other night, I forgive you. I feel crazy..." I whispered, "I want to...do stuff. I have...too much energy and I don't know where it's come from." I said, somehow unable to control the laughter which soon came after.

"Keep cool or you'll get us all in'a trouble." He said, "Leo?" He asked.

I nodded, "he said it would make me feel good...and I do but..." Before I knew it I was holding onto Mark's face, "I need to get out of here. I need to be able to move around...like you guys, on the court y'know." I said.

He took my hands from his face, looking over his shoulder, "calm down...calm down." He repeated. Leo came walking over, pushing his messy hair out of his face with a smile.

"Yo take care of ya girlfriend she's buggin' majorly." Mark laughed.

Leo pushed him playfully, turning back to me, "it's kicked in," he said.

I nodded quickly, "yeah, yeah...why didn't you tell me I was going to feel like leaping out of my goddamn body?!" I spoke quietly.

"It's different for everybody, I mean I feel the same way I guess but I'm kinda used to it." He laughed, "just enjoy it. Don't think about it." He said, turning around as Swifty made way back to the court.

He turned back to me with one final look of reassurance as he made way center.

"Alright boys, back to business." Swifty blew the rusty whistle around his neck.

I took a seat on the bench, watching momentarily though unable to focus on just one thought. My mind raced in fast paces, and I loved it. I looked up, "Swifty." I said as he walked passed me.

He turned around. I looked away, hoping he wouldn't pay attention to my face.

"Uh...can I play?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Can I play." I repeated, "just one practice round."

"No." He turned back around.

"Come on let her play, we could use a girl on the team to help us kick some ass." Mark laughed. I rolled my eyes to myself, sighing.

Swifty turned back around, "one round." He threw up his hand in annoyance. I sat up, unable to believe my ears.

"Well hurry up! We only have thirty minutes to go." He said.

I pulled my sweater over my head as he made his way down the court. All I could hear was laughter as the collar became stuck around my head and I couldn't see a thing. I felt as though I was smothering, instantly. I pulled and yanked, fighting it off.

Whistles came soon came after laughter and I'd realized only after receiving help that my shirt had gone up along with my sweater. My face felt hot, Swifty glared at me, taking my sweater and tossing it onto the bleachers.

"Get out there." He he said irritably.

I looked at Leo who fiddled with a ball in hand, appearing not too comfortably with all of the excitement surrounding us. I looked down, straightening out my shirt and before I knew it he'd thrown the ball before I could finish. I caught it, barely, looking at him. He winked and turned his back to me, I could feel my face growing red. I hated when he did that.

"Jessica you're on Mark's team." Swifty said, when practicing a real game they played against one another. Mark's team was always opposite Leo. I turned to Leo who smirked, feeling the competition and seeing in his eyes that he wasn't going to go easy on me.

I tossed the ball to Swifty, who then stood in the center of us all, tossing the ball into the air. I took a leap, going for it, only to have it stolen by another.

"Guard 'em!" Mark called to me. I followed Zachary down the court, stealing the ball and dribbling it halfway back to my side before sending a smooth pass to Mark.

He caught it, making his way down to the hoop and shooting, and as I trusted he would, scoring. There was a rush that I'd never forget, running through my entire body. I followed my team, watching Jeremy throw the ball to Leo. I wouldn't dare let him pass me. We stared into one another's eyes, just the way we had the last night at the park.

Before I knew I'd stolen the ball heading down to the hoop before feeling threatened by his presence and passing it to Scott who scored a clean shot. The team cheered him on, as did I, looking back at Leo with a smirk.

The ball was now in the hands of the opposing team. I ran down to the end of the court, jumping for the ball as Zachary aimed for the hoop. It bounced right of the rim and into my hands. I took a daring chance at going for my own, dribbling down the court at full speed, dodging those trying to knock the ball from my hands. I took a leap, shooting...

Scoring.

"YEEAHHHHH!!!!!!!" The cheers made me flinch, a smile spread across my face as for once I felt part of a crowd...I was on a team, I had a place...and I fit.

"Alright, time! We're out of time." Swifty clapped, giving everyone a pat on the back but me. "Good job fellas." He said, "good job."

I waited for any acknowledgement I could gather from him, though I received none at all.