Char Kadam: IshRa FanFic #Completed

Part 38: Selfish in Love

CEO of the year, RKB, to get his lifetime Valentine on this Valentine's Day

Did it just say that!?

Ishita's POV

But why had she called herself Anamika, I wonder?

Dhak...my heart bet aloud once, then skipped many beats and later started racing.

A chill ran down my spine but my palms were sweaty.

It was the kind of feel I would get when in childhood Amma would catch me stuffing Amulya Dairy Whitener in my mouth at midnight.

Why the same feeling now???? Clueless!

I took several deep breaths until my heart was back to its normal pace and wiped my sweating palms.

I then went back to reading.

Phew...

But why had she called herself Anamika, I wonder?
Dhak...

The question had always stayed on my mind.

For some unknown reason, the fact didn't settle quite well, that she would introduce herself as Anamika to probably an unknown person. Also she had exchanged her contact info with him.

My mind had already started cooking up strange reasons which I did not like even a bit.

It's better to ask her

But that would mean I would have to tell her that I had been stalking her and eavesdropping her conversation.

Would such behaviour be acceptable?
Probably not.

She might not like it.

And I was not ready to risk my relation with her in an attempt to finding answers for some silly questions.

She is in my life and soon going to be my better half, that's all what matters to me.

I am happy with what I have, I do not have to know things that would probably ruin my relationship with her.

That doesn't mean those questions had left my mind.

They were still hovering around but I had them buried deep down my brain's storage never wanting to deal with them.

Now all my focus was on strengthening our bond.

All I wanted to do is spend some time with her or talk to her.

But she was often unavailable.

She would be busy at her clinic.

Lucky patients! Unlucky me!

But I understand, She is a hard-working woman after all!

Sorry Raman! I did that deliberately to avoid you...

With one reason or the other, I would visit her at her house or the clinic.

I could at least see her beautiful face and listen to her soothing voice, if not spend some lone time with her.

And that's exactly what I used to get, because she would just smile, speak only what was necessary and then excuse herself.

I was happy that my purpose of visit was accomplished yet there would be some unfulfilled desires of spending some more time in privacy.

But I understand, She probably needs some more time to cope up with the sudden changes in her life.

Sorry Raman for hurting you...

I seemed to understand but actually I failed to understand.

I failed to understand what was bothering her.

I had begun to realise that she is not her usual-self around me.

Dhak...

The Anamika I had first seen was a chirpy, talkative girl who enjoyed every bit of her life.

The Ishita I now know is a total opposite who talks very less, has a smile that never reaches her eyes and looks forced to live life.

Sniff...sniff

Why is Ishita so different from Anamika???

Nevertheless, Ishita or Anamika, I just love her.

Love her so much that I can't imagine life without her.

Sniff

Should I not be satisfied with the fact that I was going to spend my entire life with the one I love?

And I am sure, very soon she will reciprocate my feelings for her!

Is that too much to expect from her? No, right?

With the same expectation, I would express my feelings to her every time I got to talk to her.

I was waiting for the day, when she would say I Love You too.

Unfortunately she would be surrounded by her Amma or her sisters or her patients whenever I would say I Love You.

Huh...I am not so lucky you see...

Sorry Raman...there would be no one around me most of the times. It was a lie.

Shall I share a secret?

I know her parents or sisters or patients were not around.

She would simply give that reason to avoid answering me.

Dhak...Sniff

But it's OK. I still have hopes.

My love for her will never change.

I will always love her the same way or may be even more.

Sniff

She was definitely hiding something from me, I was too.

I am too afraid to tell her the truth, she must be too.

May be we both are not ready to face the truth yet.

It is better we wait for the right time.

May be after our marriage when we get to know each other better, we may shed our inhibitions and open-up to each other.

I am sure that whatever her truth would be my love for her would never change.

So there is nothing wrong in waiting for D-Day.

But what I did not know was another major truth was knocking at my door.

The truth which definitely did not change my love for her but had changed me.

People knew me for my selflessness, but now I was a selfish man.

Is it wrong to be selfish in love?

Did I just say that!?

----To be continued---

Is it wrong to be selfish in love?

What do you think?