Char Kadam: IshRa FanFic #Completed

Part 40: Self (Deprecating) Analysis

And this time I will surely be disappointed

Did he just say that!?

'Look who's asking! (Rolling eyes)

Really Ishita??? You EXPECT him to not be disappointed???

If you really did EXPECT him to be happy about your so-called date, then well I am sorry to say that you are ought to be DISAPPOINTED!

And none but YOU are the cause for this disappointment!

Did you forget about your #AvoidTalkingSpree?

Did you forget how you behaved with him?

Did you forget that when he was craving for your love and attention, all you were thinking about was Ajnabi?

Did you forget that when he was assuring you that he would stand by you no matter what, you yearned to stay by Ajnabi's side?

Huh...How cool is that Ishita!

You break someone's heart deliberately and EXPECT him to be happy...

Wow...I bow to your audacity to expect that!

Well let me tell you I am totally disappointed with your attitude'
I mentally chided myself.

How mean of me!

How inconsiderate am I!

How selfish could I be!

And there Raman thought that he was being selfish...

Of course he wanted to spend time with me...

But he has a right to do that...

After all I am engaged to him and soon to be his wife...

Yet he thought he was being selfish...

And here I did everything possible to avoid him...

I was finding reasons to avoid going with him...

And I was complacent that I was doing the right thing...

How selfish could I be!

He wanted this day to be the best in his life...

While I turned it out as the worst...

How mean of me!

He went against his likes and chose the restaurant according to my choices and preferences but I chose to ignore even that...

How inconsiderate am I!

Why do you love me so much Raman?

I don't deserve your love!

You are too good to be true!

I don't deserve you!

I hate myself so much right now that I detest my very existence.

If only I did not exist, Raman would not have to go through so much pain.

PS: I hate myself is a new addition to my #Hatelist

Well killing myself was not the best option right now...

I already exist...I can't deny that...

And I have already hurt Raman so much...

If he found me dead after reading his book that would probably hurt him more...

I do not want to be the reason for his sufferings anymore...

What should I do then?

Continue Reading...The only option left...

End of Chapter 8

Obviously it had to be the end of the Chapter...

He had written this part before our date...

Is this the end of this book then?

No...he mentioned earlier that he has left the last chapter blank...

He also said that there is a note attached that explains why the last chapter is not written...

Let me find out...

I fumbled for the note and finally found a post-it stuck on the last page of the diary.

Dear Ishita!

You must be wondering why I left the last chapter blank.
If it would be any other story I would have had the last chapter on my mind even before I started writing.
But here the case is different.
It is the story of my life.
Life has taken unexpected turns since your arrival in my life that I do not know what to expect next.

The chapters of my life are now open to you.
You have beautified all those chapters with your presence.
So now I give you the liberty to write the last chapter of my life.
Yes! I mean it!
Now you will decide if you want to stay in my life or not.

No I do not EXPECT anything from you.
You have all the liberty to make a decision that you feel right.

Now this space is yours to fill...
You will now write the last chapter of my life...

The CHAPTER that will mark the end of my story...Or define the beginning of a new story...

Did he just say that!?

-------------To be continued-----------

What do u think abt Ishita's Self deprecating analysis?
What do u think is Ishita going to do with the last chapter of Raman's life?
Will it be the end of the story or the beginning of a new one?