He is Mine

Chapter 31 - Worry

⟡ POV Yeosang ⟡

It was in the middle of the night, now raining outside in the darkness, my steps were quick and urgent, the clacking of my shoes echoed in my ears. The worry gnawed at me, distorted my entire being, left me paralyzed.

The short phone call with Wooyoung was worrying, I couldn't just sit idly in my apartment and wait until the morning when I sensed that something was going on, something was very wrong, my beloved cousin, my Wooyoung, wasn't feeling well. Maybe he was even in danger, I couldn't and didn't want to imagine what could be going on, what could have happened, I didn't want to succumb to my worries, let alone assume something unspeakable-

No!

I sprinted along the luckily not so long path to Wooyoung's apartment, the rain soaked all my clothes, made my hair stick heavily to my forehead, every drop of rain on my nose sent a small shiver down my spine.

Finally arrived, my thoughts a complete chaos, I rang the doorbell quickly, I rocked back and forth nervously, wanting to know if he was okay, reassuring my mind. Since he hung up, I couldn't reach him anymore, the reaction to my simple announcement about the appointment tomorrow morning was far too aggressive, maybe something scared, almost frustrated or a bit of shame in his voice. His words were far too slurred, the quiet murmur creepy, it made my stomach twist.

I didn't know what was going on in Wooyoung's mind, I wish I did, I wish I could look into his head, into his heart, open it like a box whose key only I had, the one who was once so easy to read, the one who was so open a few days ago, my cousin with the colorful hair color and the most heartwarming laugh in the world, now so closed off, he has been so foreign now. It hurt me to see him like that, so quiet, withdrawn, so thoughtful, the cheerful, cheeky smile vanished from his face.

Unfortunately there was no answer to my loud noise at the door, I tried again, several times, each time I pressed my finger on the bell so incredibly intrusive and annoying, literally screaming for this door to please open through sheer will power.

I bit my lower lip in frustration, shivered a little because of the cold, wet clothes on my skin, I massaged my forehead, desperately wondering what I should do next. Should I call an ambulance? Or Jongho? Who could help me in a situation like this?

I knocked loudly on the front door, my hand clenched into a fist, every sound louder each time, I didn't care what time it was, I had to get in there right now!

My heart clenched, pure fear rose in my bones, made my blood boil in my ears, my hands shook restlessly, my eyes burned and filled themselves with stinging tears that blurred my vision in just a few seconds.

I called Wooyoung's name loudly a few more times, trying to combat the loud rain with my voice, that was pounding down on the asphalt at my feet. I knocked and rang the bell again, tried everything so that my cousin might hear me, so that I would sense a sign of life from him. With a heavy and breathless sigh I pressed my wet forehead against the door in front of me, grabbed it panicked, I clutched at my chest, dug my nails into my wet clothes, tried to calm myself down in some way. I wouldn't be consumed by my fear, not giving in to the great panic, staying in the here and now and staying composed to help Wooyoung, yes, maybe even save him.

I shakily pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket, just about to call the ambulance, not giving a single thought to any image that might need to be maintained, a campaign that could be jeopardized by such a scandal, with Wooyoung's safety, health and well-being as first priority.

Before I could tap on the call button, the door in front of me moved as if by magic, luckily, the unlocking was heard, my heart skipped a beat, I quickly buried my cell phone back in my jacket pocket, wanted to rush in and make sure everything was okay.

The door opened crack by crack, I came closer, soon saw Wooyoung standing there, his appearance catastrophic, his face tired and full of grief, his body as if he had collapsed, the stench of alcohol wafted directly towards me, making me cough briefly and hold my hand in front of my nose.

My goodness, what was going on?

I pushed the door open further, preventing any possibility of Wooyoung closing it again, leaving me standing outside in the cold darkness. He staggered back a little, let go of the door handle, held his head, seemed as if he was about to fall over, lose consciousness.

I reacted quickly, pushing the door all the way open, supporting him with my arms, feeling his trembling body in my hands, his eyes wandering absently.

"Woo... what did you do... what's wrong?" I asked quietly, maybe the words were even aimed at me, just a quiet whispering.

He shook his head, pushed me away, his manner, his behavior so completely strange, so hurt and fragile, he staggered to his couch, leaned against the armrest, clutched his head, his eyes closed, his eyebrows drawn together painfully, a spiteful, "What do you want here Yeo?" left his lips.

"What am I doing here?! Woo, you look like a disaster, I was worried after the call earlier, I couldn't reach you anymore, then you don't even open the door and now I find you like this? What's going on?" I replied angrily, locked the door behind me again, took a few steps closer, but stayed at a distance, giving Wooyoung the space he needed, rather looking at the surroundings, the living room, the mess, the empty and overturned whiskey bottle on the floor, the big puddle, the stain on the carpet.

Wooyoung hissed loudly, clicked his tongue, looked at me with slitted eyes, "It's nothing, I'm fine, you didn't have to come."

Anger overwhelmed me, the stubborn nature, the self-destructive behavior, it annoyed me, I couldn't watch something like that, I wouldn't leave it at that, I would rather make it clear to him that his behavior was not only harmful to himself, but also to other people, to his environment, his loved ones, people who appreciate him highly. It was worrying, I wanted to make my concern clear to him.

I darted towards Wooyoung, grabbed his arm roughly, reacted solely out of instinct, pulled him a little closer, his body briefly as if weightless, swayed dangerously back and forth while his sweaty skin trembled under my palm, tensed up, "Stop babbling such shit! Don't you realize how worried I was? And you're pretending everything's fine here? It's not! Damn Woo, I found you here in the middle of the night... alone, drunk, maybe even unconscious, hanging up on our phone call and not responding. I was worried sick!"

My look was angry, a side of me that I didn't show often, rather rarely, the complete opposite of my otherwise calm and well-mannered manner.

"Your actions have consequences and don't just affect you! I want to know what's going on. Now."

My point of view was clear, my opinion expressed, my cousin looked at me in shock, pure disbelief, his look full of despair, maybe also anger, fear written on his face, the overwhelmingness of the situation was within my grasp, I could see the tears shimmering in his eyes, my heart broke at the sad and guilty sight.

Wooyoung's lips trembled, he was stammering, his words choppy, the tremor in his voice deep but still weak, I felt him becoming heavier in my hands, his strength failing, it was either the alcohol or something else, he collapsed again and I caught him quickly once more, held him close to me, knelt down with him on the floor, pressed his head firmly against my chest, his grip on my arms instinctively tightened and his loud painful sobs filled the quiet room.

In the silence all I could hear was his sniffling, his crying, all the deeply buried feelings that he could no longer hold, he finally released in such a fragile moment, burying his face deep in my clothes, saying my name over and over again, an apology crossed his lips, the body trembled and my arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a warm and comforting hug.

I didn't say another word, I was just there for him, I let him briefly feel all these heavy and strong feelings, stroked his hair and his back gently, as lovingly as ever, listened to his broken voice, tried to ignore the ache in my heart, not to think about it right now.

With a kiss on Wooyoung's head I whispered softly, "I'm here, drop everything, I'll catch it for you..."

... If only I could really absorb his pain, free him from suffering and sorrow ...