Sideways

Chapter 46 Express Yourself

Present

"I have a lot of questions." Eddie's voice says, interrupting Wes. He lifts his gaze to meet Eddie's, and it looks like he needs a moment to process, and like he is taking care with how to ask his questions.

Wes nods, "Yeah, okay. I could use a break, anyway." He says, and he leans back into Cole's supportive embrace.

Eddie's mind races as he tries to decide where to begin. Wes had just revealed a glimpse into his past, and Eddie sensed that there were even more horrific experiences waiting to be shared. He sighs, knowing that the weight of Wes's pain will only continue to grow with each new reveal. He turns to look at Athena, "Do you want to go first?"

She shakes her head, and waves Eddie on, "You lead the way; my questions are going to be a lot more pointed than yours."

He turns back to Wes, "You had no idea that you and Joseph shared a father? That Mac was your father?"

Cole jumps in before Wes has a chance to answer, "I've seen them together. They look just enough alike to resemble brothers, but Joseph and Jonathan have more of Mac's features and characteristics, while Wes doesn't."

Cole squeezes Wes to his chest tighter, "I'm guessing he has more of Catherine's features. His eyes are unique, that is for sure."

Wes nods along agreeing with Cole, "It's hard to answer. I had never met Mac before the day he tried to take me from the lake. In hindsight, I should have. But my mom always talked about how Mac was a shit person, and that's why he wasn't a part of our lives. Now I understand why she did what she did. She never let her relationship with Mac influence how Joseph saw him, at least at first. She never bad-mouthed him to his son; she let Joseph make up his own mind about him. I will say that when it was revealed that he was my father, too, Joseph didn't take it well. He questioned my mother about all the things he had overheard her tell me about my father and asked if they were true. She told him the truth. It was difficult for him to hear. He idolized his father."

"Your brother sounds..." Buck starts to say, and Wes cuts him off, "I know Joseph comes across as a dick and a bully. He is those things, but you're only getting parts of the story here. There is a lot I'm skipping over. Joseph is complicated, and Mac's influence on him is a disservice to who my brother really is. He's been through everything I have, but from a different lens. He is not shown in a positive light in a chunk of my stories, but you're missing the parts where he beat up the kids at school who bullied me or when he held me when my grandfather died. He was not a perfect older brother, but he's mine, and I do love him a lot. I just don't like him sometimes."

"You don't talk to him at all?" Eddie asks, and Wes shakes his head somberly. "But I would drop everything for him, either of them if they needed me."

"Of course you would," Buck says, "That is a very Wes thing."

Wes turns back to Eddie, "I didn't know when I was little, and no one betrayed my mother's wishes and told me. Now, it's more apparent, but I didn't know until I was ten years old. Growing up, not having a dad was hard; kids can be very cruel. But I had Wesley, and that fucking counts."

"Fuck yeah, it does," Eddie replies, and he squeezes Buck's hand, thinking about how Wes and Buck have similar issues with their fathers, but have a father figure who loved them as if he was theirs. "Did you ever find out what happened to him?"

"Well, I have my suspicions. When I was little, it was hard to talk about. I loved him, you know," Wes says, taking a deep breath. "My mother was devastated, but she was a firecracker when she needed to be. She wouldn't let it rest. She had to identify his body, and when she came back, she was furious. They wouldn't let her see him fully because of his wounds. They found him in the water, and he was beaten pretty badly. They said his eye socket was destroyed, and his throat was slit. The sheriff rounded up all the men they suspected, and a few of them are serving life in prison for it. Even though it wasn't legal at the time, they considered it a hate crime."