Sideways

Chapter 16 Buddies First Christmas

Saturday, December 24th

Eddie wakes up and reaches over to find Buck's empty spot in their bed; it's not even warm, signaling Buck hasn't been there for a long time. Eddie lifts his head and looks at the alarm clock, 9 am. It's later than he thought, but Buck should still be in bed. Eddie rolls out of bed and pulls a pair of shorts over his briefs. He grabs his black tank top, and he's down the hall.

Eddie hears laughter coming from the kitchen, and some tension in his shoulders releases. Eddie stands in the kitchen doorway, shirtless, tank top still in his hand, and watches Buck and Christopher making breakfast.

"Morning, Dad!" Christopher says.

"Good morning, mijo." Eddie says as he bends down and places a kiss into Christopher's hair before walking up to Buck and pressing a kiss to his lips. "Morning, babe."

"Morning Eds, I'm making pancakes. Want anything special?"

"Is that Nutella? You're making him Nutella pancakes?" Eddie asks, and Buck nods. "You spoil him." Chris laughs.

"It's Christmas, Eddie."

"Yeah, Dad, it's Christmas." Chris teases.

"Oh no, we aren't doing this teaming up on Dad thing today. I know where the presents are hidden. So, this stops now." Eddie teases back. "Chris, we talked about this. You're not supposed to wake Buck up."

"I didn't. He was lying down on the couch when I came out of my room." Buck shrinks into himself.

"Why were you on the couch?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Chris, can you give us a minute, please?" Eddie asks, and Buck shrinks into himself again. Chris doesn't even argue; he gets up and leaves them alone.

"Eddie, please, I don't want to fight."

"We aren't fighting, Buck. I just want to know what's going on."

"I woke up, and my heart was racing. I can't remember what I was dreaming about. I came out and laid on the couch."

"That is the last time that happens."

"Eddie..."

"Buck, I can't be there for you if you don't let me."

"Eddie, you don't have to take care of me."

"Ok, now we are fighting. It's literally my job as your husband to take care of you."

"Eddie..."

"What would you do if I woke up from a flashback nightmare?"

"I would talk you through it and hold you until you relaxed."

"Why do you get to be there for me? But you won't let me be there for you."

"I get it, Eddie."

"I don't think you do, Buck, and we will keep having this conversation until you do. You aren't a bother. I want to be there for you. Please let me."

"Ok, Eddie."

"Please, Buck, don't shut me out. I worked really hard to get here. Don't close us off from each other."

"I won't," Buck says as he steps into Eddie's space. "I promise, I'm still coming to terms with you really being here. I'm working on it. I talked to Dr. Copeland about it this week. I have homework."

"For you? Or us?"

"All three of us, separate and together."

"Chris, come in here. I know you're listening. You aren't that slick, mijo."