Sideways

Chapter 4 Buddie Begins

8 PM

The Diaz house is empty hours later, except for Buck and Eddie. Hen and Karen took Chris for the night after the boys begged for a sleepover.

Eddie walks into the living room, where Buck sits on the couch and hands him a bottle of beer. "Are you ok? I know that was intense. But at least now it's all in the open." He sits across from Buck on the couch.

"Honestly, Eddie, I don't know. I can kinda understand where everyone is coming from with how Connor handled this. As much as I don't want to believe it, I can see it. But I keep coming back to why? Why would he do that? I just can't figure out why."

"I don't know either, Buck." It's a really good question, Eddie thinks to himself.

Buck tucks his knee under his other leg as he turns to face Eddie and continues, "What's even scarier to think about is the risk of the baby being sick. I immediately started researching tonight as soon as Karen said it. Leukemia itself isn't genetic. There is a small chance that leukemia may run in the family due to inherited gene mutations. I even told Connor that picking someone from a bank would give them perfect genes. I never even thought to go deeper. I should have. I assumed they would have caught any irregularities with the sample. I should have asked Hen more about it. I feel so stupid."

"Buck, none of that. I hate it when you talk about yourself like that. Yeah, you're a bonehead." Eddie ruffles Buck's hair. "You're not stupid, and you're not dumb, far from it. You faced a tough choice in an uncomfortable position and tried to do the right thing. The Daniel stuff is still so new for you. I fucking hate your parents. I still can't believe they kept this from you for so long." Buck laughs at this.

"Thanks, Eddie."

They sit in silence for a few minutes as they finish their beers. Eddie gets up and gets them another round. He kicks off his sneakers before sitting back down on the couch beside Buck.

"Ok. Let's hear it. I know there is more bothering you here. Are you mad at me?"

"For what, jizzing into a cup for a frat buddy?"

"Ha-ha. Real funny, Eddie."

"Trying to help your friend. It's a very Buck thing to do."

"Jizzing in a cup is a Buck thing?"

"No, smart ass. Being selfless and loyal is very Buck. I am not mad at you for donating."

"Oh, thank god." Buck says, relieved.

"I didn't say I wasn't mad at you. Just not about that."

"Then what is it, Eddie? Spit it out."

"You still don't see the value in your life, in yourself. After everything you have been through. Sure, you give pieces of yourself to the people who love you. But you don't need to literately give pieces of yourself away for you to be valuable." Eddie says, clearly frustrated. He takes a deep breath. Calms himself and continues. "You are loved; you are needed. There are no conditions here for us to love you, Evan."

"I don't know what to say to that, Eddie."

"What I am really pissed about is your comment about them maybe being your only chance to be a father."

"I don't see anyone else waiting in the wings to give me a kid."

"Don't, don't you fucking do that. You know exactly what I am talking about, Buck." Eddie stands up at this, placing his beer on the table.

"Chris isn't mine, Eddie!"

"Yes, he fucking is Buck! In every way that matters, you are his father! I even made it fucking legal!"