Just Another Fangirl

Im Not Me Anymore

Hey!! Sorry for the whole mess up with the last chapter! It was about my other book at first but then i was like naww and then it wouldnt let me unpublish it:(
Anyway, hope you like the next chapter :))

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I cant seem to focus on anything else.
Harry is my only thought.
I dont even care anymore that i am in nyc.
I dont care that i have 500 dollars to spend in nyc.
I dont care that my best friend is talking to me.
She dosent even really know me.

She never had and she never will.

I never real think about it much but after i saw harry,
it was all i thought about.

Im fake.

Im popular cause im fake.

I have never fangirled infront of anyone.

Everyone thinks i listen to nirvana and panic! At the disco when in reality i know every one direction song by heart.

I wear skirts and crop tops when all i want to wear is sweatpants.

I dance but all i want to do is play soccer.

Everyone thinks my inspiration is some huge dancer but it is Carli Lloyd and Harry Styles.

Im such a fake, i hate myself.

I conceal my true personality.

Im a naturally really bubbly girl thats loud and obnoxious but everyone sees me as a quite, nice, perfect girl.

everyone thinks my life is perfect.

Everyone thinks im perfect.

Little do they know im a lie.

My best friend dosent even know whats going on at my house.

What hapoens behind close doors is completley different then what people see.

"Claudia! Are you even listening"

My thoughts are interrupted by my best fri--Mac. By Mac.

"Ummm, not really" i say truthfully.

"Well could you please listen, its important" she huffs.

"Yes...yea sure"

She starts talking again. Looking at every piece of clothing.

I hate shopping.

All the clothes i own are hamidowns from my older cousin.

I dont go shopping ever and if i do i dont actually have money.

I think thats why i hate shopping because it reminds me i dont have the money to do anything normal.

And i am not the girly girl i present myself as.

I would much rather be sjopping at like an addidas store with this money but i cant because that would blow my cover.

Okay, you may be wondering how my whole persona changed well, here is the story.

It was the fay before my first day at high school.
I had just moved with my family which was slowly falling apart...

I dont know how to feel about high school.
I hear its meaner and if middle school was mean to me imagine how bad high school will be.

My middle school experience sucked.
Terribly.
I was bullied for being a "tomboy" and for playing a "boy sport".
It didnt help that i am not the prettiest person.
No one.
I mean no one was nice to me.
I ate lunch by myself in the corner table in the lunch room.
I sat in the front of every class by myself.
People would snicker behind my back and through things at me when the teacher wasnt looking.
Even my teachers hated me.
They say i "didnt work hard enough" and was "very mean to the children".
Little did they know i was going through hell at home.