Just Another Fangirl

Falling Apart Slowly

Hello readers! since im going to be busy for a while because i will be with family, the chapters will be coming slower than usual. Because of that im gonna have some help with writing it :)). She will be here quite a lot this month and other times through the course of the book:))
Be kind to MrsManiStyles

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Hi people! Let me introduce myself, I am MrsManiStyles ! @notheretowrite and I have decided to collaborate since she won't be able to update much ! I'll be here a lot this month and some over the course of this entire book. I might do a few things differently than C but it'll be mostly the same ! This is my first chapter written in this book, and I really hope you like it !

•••

Claudia's POV

It's about the time for Mac and I to meet her mom at the hotel.

While on the walk back, I start thinking about Harry.

I can't be with him. I mean, why would he chose me out of the millions of girls who love him just as much as I do?

I'm not as pretty as them, I'm averagely smart but not a genius and, most importantly, im living a lie.

He wouldn't be into a fake.
A phony
A liar.

"Claudia? Claudia snap out if it!" Mac says, hand waving in front of my face.

"Huh? What?" I question.

"Are you okay Claud? Do you need to tell me something?" Macs asks, eyes narrowing and searching my face for an answer. She looks concerned and...frightened?

I can feel the tears in my eyes, I'm trying to hold them back but they're coming so fast. The guilt is eating me up inside.

I can't tell her what I did. I would loose everything.

"Hey Mac, its nothing. Just hard thinking." I tell her.

We walk into the hotel. We meet Macs mom and she leads us upstairs.

Macs mom thought it would be a good idea to get us all different rooms. Dont ask me why but, I have my own room.

We walk down the long dark corridor in silence, it's kind of awkward but we stay silent.

Mac looks deep in thought, sneaking quick glances at me.

Macs mom goes in her room and then Mac goes in hers and mine is the one one the end.

Room 201

Hey, that's Harry's birthday.

February 1st.

Mac walks up behind me snapping me out of my Harry thoughts and hands me my key.

"I forgot to give you your key." She says.

"Oh." I feel so stupid around her.

"I'm staying in the room right next to you, 200, here's your key card and have a good night." She says nonchalantly handing me the key card and walking to her door.

My stuff is already here, I don't know how it got here, but it is.

Since I have nothing else to do, I grab my laptop that's sitting on the desk and log onto twitter.

I go on Harry's page, as always, and notice he just tweeted something.

@HarryStyles. Ah, the Big Apple, it couldn't be lovelier. Saw this store today, and this beautiful girl in it. ;)

There is a picture attached of the store Mac & I were in earlier.

That's funny. For a second I thought he was talking about me. I'm so stupid.

He would never see me in that crowd. I'm not even average looking or good at anything and to top it all off, I'm not even true to myself.

That's when the tears start to roll in.

Everything hitting me at once.

My lies.
How ugly I am.
How stupid I am.

The hate I have for myself.
The guilt.

Everything just building up.

Everything hurts.

Pain.
Pain.
Pain.

I hate the pain.

I have never felt so much pain.

I never thought pain could be this bad.

But it can...

I hate it.
I hate my family.
I hate my friends.
I hate my clothes.
I hate my face.
I hate my choices.
I hate my self.

I hate myself.

I hate everything about myself.

My stupid face.
My ugly hair.
My slightly crooked teeth.
My boring eyes.

Everything.

•••
Hi again people! Thanks so much for reading my first chapter in this book! I can't wait to see what's next for the upcoming chapters.

C and I love you all and appreciate you, reading this.

Hey look, I can UNDERLINE STUFF.

Well, that's all.

Until next time,
Ciao!✌️

-MrsManiStyles