Past and Present

28

A/n: I know; such a cliffhanger, am I right?

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"Hey Mimi, can you call me back as soon as you're not busy? I need you right now." I spoke through the phone. I'm currently leaving a voice mail for Madeleine while hiding here in my mum's huge glass garden from Lando as well. The sun's about to set and it's always lovely to see how the stained glass art here in mum's garden lights up; add the fact that the flowers are blooming right now. I enjoy hanging out here during this time of day, just the thought of being surrounded by flowers and seeing the sun set in the horizon...it gives you a different sense of peace. Helps me clear my head a little. I put down my phone on the garden table and grabbed the spray bottle mum uses to water the delicate flower petals. I absentmindedly spray water to the flowers as the scenes from earlier runs through my head.

I left him in my room. I got overwhelmed and next thing I know, I am standing up and just left him there.

I love him. But do I deserve the love he's been giving me all this time? I have always taken him for granted, sidelined him. Basically it's like I placed him as my Reserve Driver in F1 despite knowing he has the potential to bring the wins for the team.

"Found you. I have been looking for you." My mum suddenly spoke from behind. I turned around to face her, nibbling my nails while my other hand continues to spray water to the flower petals as I feel my brains go on a hyperdrive like I took way too much caffeine, "oh Schuyler, stop nibbling your nails." My mum reprimanded me playfully which made me stop.

I look at her, "Lando just told me he loves me since we were kids." I blurted out of the blue at my own mother as I stop what I am doing and start pacing back and forth instead.

Mum just look at me, possibly trying to assess me if what I just said was a good thing or a bad thing, "mum, Lando told me he loves me." I said again because I might be dreaming, "then I told him that I don't deserve his love. I'm not worth it of receiving it." I continued as I look at my mum again trying my best not to cry for the nth time today because now my brain thinks I'm screwing everything up by fleeing. Again.

My mum smiles softly at me before embracing me to stop me from pacing, "what makes you think you're not worth it of his love?"

I shrugged at her embrace, "I don't know, maybe because I took him for granted?"

"Did Lando ever tell you that you're taking him for granted, hm? Or perhaps made you feel that you are taking him for granted? Because it's the exact opposite of what I have seen between the two of you growing up." My mum explained as she release me from her embrace.

Pondering on what my mother asked, I shook my head no because she's right. Lando never made me feel that I'm taking him for granted – matter of fact, he's been patient of me. But still, I should've noticed even the smallest of signs that Lando loves me more than I led myself to believe.

"Schuyler, just remember this." Mum spoke again as she holds my hand and cups my cheek, "Your father and I didn't raise you in a home that lacks the feeling of being loved unconditionally. I believe that your father and I did not sell ourselves short in that department when it comes to you. So, honey, believe me when I say that; you are definitely worth it of the unconditional love Lando has given you."

I look at my mum and sighed, "but do I deserve it? Do I deserve him?"

She purses her lips, "as your mother, I can never answer that. But, I can tell you this instead..." She removes her hand on my cheek to hold both of my hands and gave it a squeeze, "it is okay to be scared to follow your heart; especially about the things you know deep in your heart, you deserve it more than anyone."