Her Bitchy Ways

Chapter 8

I went to a classic restaurant. I ordered my favorite fettuccini alfredo. I eat gracefully. Kasi nman, hindi na nga ako nakapag- agahan at nakapagtanghalian. Nandito lng nman ako pra medyo lumamig ang ulo ko at sympre pra makalayo na rin sa kumag na Mr. Filthy Fingers.

After kung kumain ay umalis na rin ako. At dahil nga kulang ang kinain ko ay pumunta na ako sa isang malapit na mall pra kumain sa Greenwhich. Medyo natatakam kasi akong kumain ng pizza ngayon. Feeling ko tlga pra akong buntis na naglilihi minsan. 

I eat the usual meal I ordered every time I'm here. After I'm done eating I just go to a nearby arcade pra maglibang. I already texted Xia and Anna to inform them that I am here in the mall. But they never replied. Well siguro sinusulit lng ang time nila pra sa isa't- isa. Uuwi na kasi si Xia sa probinsya nila pra bisitahin yung Mommy nyang may sakit. At hindi pwdeng sumama si Anna dahil may dpat pa syang tapusin na project.

I stopped walking when I saw a two girls holding hands and they look so very happy. They even look like a twins.

I smiled for the thought. I even remembered someone back then. My sister. My twin sister.

Nag- iwas na agad ako ng tingin. Feeling ko tutulo ng wla sa oras ang mga luha ko. I put on my gladiator sunglasses so that I could hide the tears that wanted to outburst on me. And I just remember some fatal memory I had.

" Margarett! hawakan mong mabuti ang kamay ko! Please! don't let out your finger on mine! " I started crying. I can't stop myself not to cry because my sister was just so near to death. So near that  I can't let that happen.

" Meg please. " she already pleaded to me. I can already see the tears falling on her beautiful face. " Bitawan mo na ako. You can't save me anymore. " she wanted to get her hands away from me. Pero I won't let it happen. I can't. Because i love her. I can already feel her hands slipping on my hands.

Hinawakan ko na ang kamay nya gamit ang dalawa kong kamay. Gusto nya ng bumitaw. Siguro ay nahihirapan na sya. Kasalanan kong lahat ng to eh! This is all my fault! 

" Please wag. Wag mo akong iiwan. I can't live without you Mar. " Pagod na ako. At alam kong pagod na pagod na rin sya. " Please! konting tiis na lng. Parating na ang tulong Mar. " I can't do anything but sob. Nasa bangin sya at ang makakaya ko lng gawin ay hawakan sya ng mahigpit. " Just hold on with me. I promise everything will be better." Pilit akong ngumiti kahit mapait. I just wanted to assure her that the help I called was near. I can already here the sirens and mom calling out our name.

" Pagod na ako Meg and I know pagod ka na rin. " she smiled at me while tears are escaping on her eyes. " Di ko na kaya. I love you so much Meg. You, mom and dad. Always remember that." hinawi nya ang kamay kong mahigpit na kumakapit sa kanya.

I saw how her body drop to the grass. Parang tumigil at gumuho ang mundo ko. I can just hear mom crying her name and cursing me why I let this happen. I can't move. I can't feel anything kahit pinagsasampal na ako ni Mommy.

God knows I don't want this to happen. I'd rather be the one laying in that fucking mud than her. I can accept anything my mom and all the people telling at me. But not this. I can't accept that my sister died because of me. Because of my foolishness. Because I let all this happen. I love her so much and I can't accept the fact that I lost her. I can't accept that I won't see her beautiful face. Her eyes, lips, nose, and of course. Her being the playful one.

I was awakened by my thought ng may humawi sa kamay ko. And it really hurt so bad. I face the person who hold me. And I was shocked for what I seen.

Oh please! Not him again