Requiem for a Peer-Reviewed Heart

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Once was love—a notion quaint,
Now a relic, faint and faint.
Do not utter fond adieu,
Lest you misquote—that won't do.

Refrain, refrain! Let scholars note
The tragic arc of this footnoted rote:
These tears we shed (a saline flood)
Are peer-reviewed, confirmed as blood.

For all the fibs, the myth, the guile,
You peddled them with practised style.
You gaslit hearts, oh cruel bard,
Then failed to properly footnote the discard.

We, lone custodians of heart's debris,
Weep in iambic misery.
Dissertation drafts grow long and cold—
Love's thesis dead, its authors old.

Alas, we roam through halls of shame,
Denied our grant, denied your name.
Forever lost in tenure's maze—
We can't go home. (It's been re-zoned anyway.)

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