Captured Love

Chapter 19

The bed was empty when I woke up leaving me to feel conflicted between relieved and disappointed. I think being just the two of us in this world has really started to get to me otherwise how could I explain having any positive emotions at all.

'It has to be a case stockholm syndrome' 

This to me was the only plausible explanation I could think of considering I've been isolated from everyone else and am forced to be dependent on the same person who is the reason for this circumstance. I tried to not give in to this dark spiraling wave coming down on me, but it's so hard to keep going when it feels like there is no point when I am going to be given hope and crushed. I curl up into myself, the covers being my only solace at the moment. 

Betty is hovering above trying to give some form of comfort as the light particles dance about my head. She has no physical body, yet it feels like her light gives just the tiniest bit of warmth. I imagine I must look like a fallen bird with clipped wings in its cage. I have been in bed so long in and out of sleep with no desire to get up. I don't know how much time has passed as there is now actual night or day here just whatever we choose to display across the sky. Amias will sometimes visit here and there with food or just to check up on me I suppose. Zemi will pop in the room and leave to keep tabs on me as well whenever Amias doesn't come.

Betty says I should go check the garden soon that maybe keeping my mind busy will help me. I decline often but am starting to wonder if maybe I should, it would give me a reason to get up. I logically can literally stay in bed forever and I wouldn't even die. I can go without eating, moving or even breathing. I can now see what he meant from his earlier warnings. No matter how I may feel about him or this whole situation nothing is within my control so I can only really do what he allows. 

'I can't sit here wasting away waiting to get raped till pregnant. I'm not some breeding livestock to keep around just to produce for his pleasure or desire.'

'Desire.'

The word sparked unwanted tingles in my body. I hated how he made me felt; he was everything I avoided in a man, yet my body was craving him like no other. The conflicting emotions made me disgusted with myself which led to where I am now sulking in bed. My own thoughts made me so angry. I sigh louder and scramble my hair about in frustration finally deciding to do something other than killing time doing nothing.

"Alright Betty let's get on with it till I'm too tired to think anymore." In a fit I decide to just throw myself into my 'duties' and just work. I didn't plan to stay in any one place for too long so I wouldn't have to see him around for a bit.

"I am glad you have finally decided to leave the room, it was starting to get a bit depressing." I look at her annoyed.

"Betty that's because I was depressed, probably still am. I'm just deciding to focus on work now instead of sleep." I express to her in a monotone voice.

"Oh." She remains silent after that and just follows along behind me as I make my way to the garden. I trail my fingertips along some of the leaves as we pass by slowly feeling a sense of peace wash over me as I closer to the altar. The thrumming of energy and light start to surround us. Pulling out the book I jump right into the dimensions and travel to a new realm with my clairvoyance hoping to escape my own reality even if for a little bit.