Forever 4: "The Journey" (Hariana / Diall)

11: The Relapse

Life is a circle, we keep encountering same things over and over but different lessons will be learned.

A R I A N A

My eyes are still closed but I can feel the bed is a bit shaking - not because he is pleasuring himself again - but because I can feel Harry scooting on different sides of the bed. Sometimes he is scooting beside me but sometimes to his side. I can't really sleep due to his actions. I bet he can't sleep, I just smiled weirdly and try to sleep again. But it really don't work. He is still scooting side by side, unknowingly what would or could be the reason is.

It's been weeks after Harry and I had a fight. Of course, every time I remembered all the words he said to me during that time, it still hurts, honestly. But Harry, who is really a genuine and a very romantic person, the whole situation changes and I do love it. He keeps making me feel how special I am to him. He keeps treating me like what kind of treat should I deserve. I'm just super thankful having him beside me, as always. I know he is not perfect and I don't want him to be like that. Although he got a perfect physical aspects, I know he still have imperfections and flaws inside and outside where acceptance is the only thing needed. And I must say that I'm loving his imperfections.

Yes, having our lives being as one, there will be a time that we can hurt each other. Like, I can be the one who can hurt or I'll be the one who get hurt. In cae of what happened, Harry hurt me but it's all settled. And I know that there will be a time when I will accidentally hurt him, I just don't know when and how. But in the end, we will forgive each other without trust and love being shattered. We both know that once we fought, it means that we made our relationship and ourselves better and stronger.

Even having a married life that doesn't mean that it will be always a beautiful morning and night. Sometimes the problems you've experienced before you got married or enter the next phase of your life, will be way more worse than it. But the good thing about dealing problems while having someone in your life - who is a friend, family or on me, having Harry - is better and will be easier, because you can help or reach out with each other.

I take a look at the digital clock beside me and it is one in the morning. I'm still really, really tired right now after going work and it's super busy as hell. It's like we're working twenty four - seven and the stress, exhaustion are taking all over me. As well as Harry in his works with the lads. That's why I really don't know when is the last time Harry and I went out on a date or just spend time with each other outside.

"Haz?" I groaned and I really can't sleep because of him.

"Oh, shit." He mumbled. "I'm sorry, I just can't sleep..." He said and turned my back to face him, scratching his head.

"I know." I simply said, admiring his perfect face.

"I really disturbed you, am I?" He asked as I nodded. "Sorry..." He said and smiled a little while the dim light is flashing on us.

"It's fine and why are you still up though?" I asked while he cups my cheek, caressing it, giving me goosebumps by his touch.

"I don't know. I want to sleep but my body and my mind doesn't cooperate with me." He said and I began chuckling softly.

"Really, Harry? Your body and mind doesn't cooperate with you? As far as I know, your body and mind are very cooperative like they can do what you want to do." I said, teasing him as he frowned.

"I guess I'm wrong and I think they are cooperative..." He softly but kind of teasingly said as his hand went on my waist down to my hips, while seeing him smirks.

"Not gonna happen, Styles. I'm tired." I said and turned my back, closing my eyes and trying to sleep.

"Hey..." He whined, sounds like a kid. "I want to talk to you." He said and shaking me gently, but I'm just smiling while continuing the trying-to-sleep stuff.