Attack on Titan One Shots

Caraphernelia (Levi x Reader)

[Edited: July 16, 2019]

TRIGGER WARNING:

Contains SUICIDE and SELFHARM, so please read on with caution.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night.
(But, there's just something about)
This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy.
Licking your fingers like you're done and,
You've decided there is so much more than me.
And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake.
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me.
Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway.

His room was trashed, every fucking item reminding him of her. The way she smiled, the way she blushed at the thought of him. Why did he have to fall for her? 

Now everyone he loved was gone... fucking gone. She was just another shitty brat. Fuck her! 

Oh had he, so many times... Why couldn't he forget her?

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.

He was heartless, but she fell for him nonetheless. Now she was gone because of those damn bastards. He kept screaming her name to no avail.

She was dead, but he couldn't accept it. How could he? 

Nobody prays for the heartless.
Nobody gives another penny for the selfish.
(You're learning how to taste what you kill now.)
Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace.
Talking to my mom about this little girl from Texas.

Her belongings were still here, scattered across the remains of his room— everything lay bruised and bloodstained. 

He cut himself every time he thought of her. Exactly 500 cuts littered his skin. 

He couldn't even remember cutting himself. That's how lost he felt without her. 

His screams and cries were strained and animal-like for he was no longer human. Humans had a purpose, yet he now had none. 

He thought their love would be eternal, but he was so fucking wrong. Everyone he has ever loved has died, so of course, she wouldn't be any different.  

He yelled her name once again before dragging the blade across his flesh. Fuck, how he hated her. Shitty brat. There go two more centimeters of his pale, blood-stained skin. 

He was two seconds from going completely insane.

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.

Just give her back to me.
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.

Perhaps this was a sick dream she'd shake him from. 

He banged his head on the wall, again, for the millionth time. Hysterical laughs bubbled from his throat as he took his arm and licked his own blood. 

He was far beyond gone now, and every single fucking part of her death brought him even farther from the idea of sanity. He laughed once again and fell onto the tainted floor.

So, baby, what if I can't forget you?
(What if I can't forget you?)
Collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall,
And just throw, oh no.
You can't just throw me away.

How could she have fucking died on him? After all the things he had done: letting his walls crumble around her, smiling more often; wooing her with romantic gestures! He even comforted her when she was a sobbing mess. All his shirts were now soaked in her filthy fucking tears. 

She just absorbed all his kindness and threw it away. That fucking selfish bitch didn't even give him anything in return!

So, what if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if I don't even want to?

He didn't need someone who only caused him pain.

There was always that auburn virgin who tailed him like a lost puppy. He could just fuck her till his needs were filled. She wouldn't fucking mind anyways, that slut. She'd think it was love, and give him anything he wanted!

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh.

What the fuck was he thinking? It wouldn't be the same! He loved being with her, his (Y/N)! 

The way she moaned his name uncontrollably, the way her nails would leave marks on his back, the way she left hickeys on his neck, the way she fucking made love to him; it was enough to make him fall even more in love with her, and she would gladly fall more in love with him. 

Why did she have to leave him?

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.

He wished more than anything to be able to go back and save her. Those damn Titan bastards took away the thing that mattered most to him. 

Maybe he was meant to be alone. He was able to handle the death of Isabel and Farlan, but when she died he just snapped. His wall just disappeared. 

Just give her back to me.
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.
So, baby, what if I can't forget you?
(What if I can't forget you?)
I'd better learn to live alone.

A laughing mess, he rose from the floor⁠. His mind, incredibly hazy from the alcohol, lacked all rational thought. 

He started stumbling over all the shattered glass and broken furniture⁠— courtesy of him⁠— toward his 3DMG. 

What he didn't know was that there were people outside screaming his name. There were trying to ram the door open but to no avail. 

They were already too late. He picked up the blade and raised it to his neck.

What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What's so good about? What's so good about?
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
Oh.

Finally, they broke the door open and watched in horror as his head fell off his neck. 

His body fell to its knees and shut down for good. His last thought being, '(Y/N) I love you.'