Attack on Titan One Shots

Unrequited Love (AoT x Reader)

[Edited: July 15, 2019]

TRIGGER WARNING:

Contains SUICIDE.

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All eyes were on her bloody, bruised up body; she was damaged beyond compare. She had been careless, reckless; unaware she had reached beyond her limits. She was slowly fading, hesitant toward letting the darkness fully consume her. What did she have to live for anyway?

He watched from afar as her body was wheeled to the infirmary. Why did he out of everyone have to fall for such an impetuous idiot? He had been incognizant to the existence of love until he met her. What kind of cheesy bullshit was that? 

He denied it at first because he didn't need love. Love always killed him in the end. He put up this tough façade, but even he knew that was just for show. It broke his already shattered heart seeing his cadets' lives fade away before his eyes. He just never showed it. 

He looked onward through cold, distant eyes. He was humanity's strongest. He couldn't be some whiny, little shit. He had a reputation to uphold, so he couldn't let his emotions seep through his cracked walls. 

Nevertheless, his walls crumbled when she was wheeled in. He had been too late; he couldn't save her. She was as close to death as she could be, her life slowly fading. It would be a miracle if she survived, that was the blunt truth. He knew he wouldn't be able to survive if she died, but what could he do? 

If only he had been there sooner he could have stopped that Titan from throwing her across the field. He didn't think he'd be able to bear the weight of regret on his shoulders. Now this time it could be drastic. He would crumble, his walls would finally give, and she would be the final blow.

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Just like Levi, he also had a calm façade, but his walls were more enforced. He had experienced many deaths, so many to the point where he could deal with his emotions better. He had always been able to keep a straight face when he saw his soldiers dying left and right, but deep down it was another soldier to add to his pile of woe. Every death is a blow to his walls, but it is like paper to metal; it has no effect. 

He was strong; he would just keep reinforcing his walls. He was already in so deep, so concealed in his walls; he would do anything for the safety of humanity. He knew many lives would be lost when he started as a commander, but he was willing to take that risk to save humanity. He had no time for love in a world like his. He was just too wrapped up in his plan to save the world and one day rid the planet of the horrid creatures who killed for fun.

Then she came, and his walls shook from the impact she had on him. The way her (e/c) eyes sparkled when she was happy, the way her laugh could cheer up anyone, or the way her lips would curl when she smiled. She was beautiful in every way— inside and out. 

His breath hitched every time she was near. He would call her to his office and give her mindless tasks just to see her. He couldn't believe he had become friends with such a thing as love, but he welcomed it with open arms, for he wasn't as stubborn as a certain corporal was. Even if he was a good liar, he would never have been able to convince himself that he didn't love her, so when she came back the way she did, it broke him. 

Only one wall survived the catastrophe of what they call a heartbreak. If she died, his last wall would fall leaving him exposed to the dangers of his emotions. He would be left vulnerable, and that was not good in a world like this. She couldn't die; she had to survive! For such a selfless man, he was so selfish. He wanted her, not just out of love, but also as a crutch to keeping him from falling.