The Curious Incident of the Aussies in the Oreo Aisle

He's basically a common white girl

This chapter is longer, hope you enjoy it

Luv oo

Thea xx

Pt 10 – He's basically a common white girl

We walk down the street a bit, receiving a few strange looks from passers-by though I assume most people would stop and stare for a bit if they saw the personification of a breadstick screaming 'to battle Michael' over and over again in an accent that sounds like it came straight from a pack of rouge kangaroos in the outback which in Luke's case it probably did.

We stop in front of our bright orange Dodge B series van. It's from the seventies and is a pretty shit car to be honest but it's served us well and that's all we care about. It's also easy to find in large car parks which is an added bonus. Hunter has also fitted it with an amazing sound system which he uses to listen to One Direction when he's waiting in traffic jams which are quite common in London so I'm fairly sure the general public know all the lyrics to No Control by now. The colour of the van, as I mentioned before, is neon orange which according to my mum is a disgusting colour that should not exist which means she refuses to let us park it in her drive way so we park it half way down the street in front of this old woman's house. Hence the walk down the street.

"This is our band van" Seren smiles gesturing to the van and turning to look at Bromance

"This is really yours?" Calum asks and Seren and I nod in sync, giggling when Calum looks at us a little uneasy which is understandable because even I find it a bit creepy sometimes

"We'll have to put the seats up in the back unless Carri did it this morning" I say looking over at Carri who gives me a thumbs up

"We're all set to go" she says and I nod, unlocking the van and getting in the driver's seat which is a bit of a hassle for someone who is only five foot three. Fuck you tall car inventors.

Seren shuts my door for me and then gets in the back of the car with Hunter and Bromance, Carri coming to sit with me in the front since she's organised and has a tick list of places to go.

"Where to first Carri?" I ask looking over at her and then in the rear view mirror to make sure everyone is clicked in. Safety first, I don't want any dead bodies to account for.

"First stop London zoo" she says and I nod, turning on the CD player which starts playing SWS. Kellin you have saved us from Hunters Taylor obsession once again.

I roll down the windows and start driving as Carri sings along to Do It Now, Remember It Later. I start to tap the drum beat on the steering wheel and sing with her and soon enough the whole van is singing (screaming) along with Kellin.

We arrive at the zoo a little while later and buy our tickets. This leaves Ashton ranting about how expensive things are these days and Luke all happy because he picked up a map and saw there are penguins here.

"Ok guys let's not split up" Carri says "if we want to get anything done we have to stick together" she tells us as Luke rambles about all the different breeds of penguin he knows.

We all just ignore her to be honest. I realise we do that a lot but who cares. Carri does I suppose, oh well she'll be over it by the time we regroup.

"Ashton can you take me to the lemurs?" I ask him as I jump on his back, clinging onto his shoulders as he stumbles for a bit before getting a good grip on me and carrying me to the lemur attraction. Seren and Luke tag along with us, her giving him a piggy back and just as we're leaving I hear the others agree to go to see the monkeys.

"Lemurs are so cute" I smile resting my chin on Ashton's shoulder as we stop in front of them "aren't they Ash?" I ask looking down at him and he nods, smiling at me as best as he can without breaking his own neck to look at me properly.

"They aren't as cute as penguins" Luke says plating Carri's hair surprisingly well though I don't expect much less from Luke, he's basically a common white girl in a white boy's body.

Ashton takes his phone out and takes a couple pictures of the lemurs before taking some of Luke and Carri and finally a bunch of selfies including me. And lets be honest they're attractive as fuck. He is anyway. I look kinda weird since I'm probably the most unphotogenic person on the face of the earth ever. My parents disagree and say I look beautiful as ever but all parents say that, it's in the job description.

I watch the lemurs as Ashton posts the pictures to various social media sights, telling him my various names on various websites so he can follow me, friend me or whatever the sight calls the act of hitting a button so you can see peoples posts and tag them in photos and all that good shit.

Once I'm satisfied we've seen enough of the lemurs Luke gets off Carri's back and leads us all to the penguins. At first I'm a little concerned he'll get us lost or we'll fall into a pot hole that will take us to China where they eat dogs. My dad tried it. It wasn't very good according to him.

After a little while of walking by some miracle we end up at the penguin tank. I have to admit I'm rather impressed by Luke's navigational skills, I genuinely thought we were gonna end up in China. Luke gets all exited when he sees them and whips his phone out, taking about a bazillion pictures before he starts to coo and aww at the penguins. This is amusing for about five minutes but soon it becomes boring looking at the penguins waddle around their enclosure, swim in the pool for a bit before coming back onto dry land and resuming their waddling.

After a while longer of aimlessly staring at the penguins I get down off Ashton's back and get my phone out, plugging my headphones in and handing him one before going onto Spotify and pressing the shuffle button, knowing Ashton won't give me grief if a Justin Timberlake song comes on. In fact he'll probably just sing along.

Much to my relief what comes on is not Justin Timberlake, its SWS. Kellin is back. He's everywhere today; maybe he's trying to say something (I'm giving up on you). Whatever he's trying to say I don't get it, subluminal messages are hard to understand Kellin, Jesus.

Me and Ashton have a mini rave in the tunnel where you can view the penguins underwater, singing along to SWS and then a whole variety other artists. We're singing along to Hollaback Girl when Luke gets sick of the penguins and drags us to the monkey area where he starts to coo at all the little monkey babies. Seren goes along with everything and she and Luke have a great time while Ashton and I find the baboons, having a right giggle at their butts.