Zero - A Vigilante Deku Story

Chapter 41 - Eidolon

Hello everyone,

It's been a long time, and I'm truly sorry. :( Here's the explanation:

As you may remember, I've been struggling with my health for the past six months. The good news is that thanks to the current flare-up, I now know what it is. The bad news: it's called rheumatoid arthritis. It's a rheumatological autoimmune disease in which the body suddenly decides that it no longer likes its joints and the immune system starts to "eat them up." This is accompanied by fever spikes, joint pain, and joint stiffness. Of course, it starts in the hands... The various sites of inflammation and the fever they cause mean that you are virtually permanently ill/exhausted. The exhaustion and pain in my hands made it very difficult for me to write.

And as if that weren't enough, my daughter was having major problems with a classmate who suffers from severe "princess syndrome." This girl has made it her mission to make my daughter's life difficult at school. Like me, my daughter has ADHD, is highly sensitive and highly empathetic. That means a lot of big emotions and problems with setting boundaries. In addition, we are currently in the process of adjusting her ADHD medication. Unfortunately, the first active ingredient causes severe side effects for her, and we still have a long way to go. So what energy I had (which was virtually none) went entirely into my daughter's physical and mental health. I didn't know how heartbreaking it can be when your own child stands in front of you crying, calling herself "useless" and begging not to have to go to school. (She is 9, bright and so lovable/helpful that it sometimes hurts. She hates arguments and suffers when there are interpersonal confrontations. She's a sheep—I mean that in the best sense.)

So why didn't I get in touch in the meantime? On the one hand, I lacked the strength. On the other hand, I felt ashamed because I had failed—as a mother (did I really do everything I could to protect my child?), as an author (death of creativity and neglect of my readership and other projects), as a person who manages to take care of herself. (One more chronic illness on the agenda—woohoo!) Childhood traumas are a great thing. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." No, what doesn't kill you causes trauma...

BUT! That belongs on my therapist's couch.

Instead, I am happy to tell you that the rheumatism flare-up is slowly subsiding, my daughter's situation is improving very slowly, and there is now a new Zero chapter.

Thank you for your loyal support. <3 If everything goes down the drain again, I'll try to give you an update instead of hiding away. BakuDeku won't get rid of me that easily. I will go down with this ship! <3

___________

POV Dabi

Never before had his boner collapsed so quickly as the moment Touya realized what the boy thought he'd just witnessed. Ever since Keigo had confirmed to him that Zero was really the boy Null, he had imagined how they would face each other for the first time since his supposed death, without Touya having to play his part. With Keigo's help, he had wanted to calmly explain to him who he was and why he was doing what he did. Instead, Touya had probably traumatized him even further.

Because none of these possibilities had involved an unplanned meeting - especially not while he was intimate with Keigo. "Fuck!" he groaned again, running a hand roughly through his hair.

Meanwhile, Keigo had pulled his pants back up and approached the broken window. He opened it slowly, as if he didn't want to startle an anfraid animal. "Hey feathers, come in first, then we'll talk, okay? Aizawa's here too. See? It's all right. No one here has any bad intentions. We all care about you. That's why we're meeting."

The boy still didn't move, just continued to clutch a small feather from Keigo tightly.

"Zero, what are you doing here?" Eraserhead asked, taking a step closer.