My Sin

The Center Of It All

A week passed, and the empress made sure the arrangements for the Empress Dowager's birthday were meticulous and thoughtful. Every item from the seating charts to the tribute gifts was personally reviewed. Nothing too lavish, but nothing careless either.

Right now, he was working with a tight budget. The emperor's previous splurges and wasteful spending had left the imperial treasury nearly half empty, and what remained couldn't be spent freely. Fortunately, his maternal family had been understanding. Quietly, they helped refill the funds through tribute silver, supplies, and quiet support behind the scenes.

But the empress, having lived once before, knew that all of it would soon be needed elsewhere. There would be a disaster this winter. In the past, it had come without warning: bitter cold and endless snow, followed by famine in the north. Crops would fail, food stores would run out, and thousands would flee southward toward the capital in search of survival.

He could not stop it. But he would try to lessen its impact. He had once thought of organizing a wide evacuation but the north was the most populated territory of the empire, home to millions. Moving even a fraction of them was impossible. So instead, he quietly set aside funds for disaster relief. Even now, ahead of the cold, he had sent officials north to check river banks, reinforce food stores, and help prepare the people for what was to come. There was little he could do. But he would still do what he could.

Today was the formal celebration for the Empress Dowager's birthday. Thanks to an old decree by the late emperor, ceremonial court dress was no longer required for family banquets. So he wore a lilac hanfu, soft and light, layered with blue outer robes that trailed gently as he walked.

His hair was tied up neatly, adorned with several hanging hair tassels and three phoenix hairpins, their wings finely worked in gold and pearls. It gave him a composed, regal look, dignified without being ostentatious.

Li Dani and the other servants were quietly in awe. Before having the children, their mistress had been much warmer, smiling often, speaking freely. But now, from the way he dressed to the way he carried himself, he had become more distant. Even his expression rarely changed. They couldn't explain it, but there was a quiet pressure around him now. As if something in the palace itself had shifted. As if the winds inside the court were about to change direction.

With Li Dani's help, the empress boarded the palanquin and set out toward Riuji Hall, where the celebration was to be held. When they arrived, the palace musicians had just begun playing.

Stepping down from the palanquin, the empress lifted his gaze and there, not far from the steps, stood the emperor, waiting. He too was dressed in lilac and blue, the robes slightly deeper in tone. The light struck the folds of the fabric, making the embroidery shimmer faintly.

The empress approached, and as he stood beside the emperor, the two of them together drew quiet attention. Their matching robes and calm expressions made them look exactly as they should, like the perfect imperial couple.

"Yue'er looks radiant today," the emperor said softly, eyes full of quiet warmth as he extended his hand.

The empress paused, looking at the offered hand in a small daze. Yes. This was the emperor he remembered. Even now, after everything, he still offered, never demanded. Even something as small as holding hands was always extended gently.

Looking up, he caught the depth in the emperor's gaze and quickly looked away, afraid that if he stared too long, he'd forget himself. He placed his hand in the emperor's.

"Is that why the emperor copied the look?" he asked in a low snort, not smiling but not displeased either.

The emperor leaned in slightly. "I only wear what Yue'er makes look good."

A faint warmth touched the empress's cheeks, but he suppressed it and turned away, pretending not to notice. The two of them stood together at the entrance of the hall, quietly waiting to be announced.

"The Emperor has arrived!"

"The Empress has arrived!" the eunuch called out clearly.

When the two walked in, slowly but steadily, the court fell silent for a moment. Officials, nobles, and concubines all turned their heads, expressions stiff with surprise.

It wasn't a lie that the strained relationship between the royal couple had become common knowledge. Whispers had spread far and wide. Some said the empress had finally grown a spine. Others thought the emperor had simply grown tired of his favored concubine. But most agreed: at best, their current relationship was polite. Nothing more.

And yet here they were.

It had already shocked many when the emperor imprisoned the once notorious Noble Consort. But now, he was entering a formal banquet with the empress at his side. Their steps matched. Their robes coordinated. The emperor looked at the empress, not with stiffness, but with quiet gentleness. It didn't look forced. It didn't look staged.

It looked real.

They stopped in front of the dais and bowed together, but respectfully in turn.

"This son greets the Empress Dowager. May Mother Empress live a thousand years, and a thousand more," the emperor said first, his voice steady and composed.

"This daughter greets Mother Empress. May Mother Empress live a thousand years, and a thousand more," the empress echoed, voice soft and even.

The empress dowager looked at them both, momentarily frozen.

Her eyes settled on her son first. She had raised him with her own hands, from the cradle to his coronation. He had been strict, but never cold. Proud, but never heartless. The very traits that made him heir had once made him the pride of the court.

But ever since the engagement... something in him had vanished.

He became unrecognizable. Cruel, foolish, and easily swayed. He had pushed everyone away, his siblings, his court, even his own parents. And though she had scolded him, even beaten him when he came to her weeks ago with apologies, part of her had already let him go.

She had thought her son would never return.

But now, standing here, with his gaze clear and voice calm... this was him. The real him. Her son.

Her eyes welled with tears. She covered her mouth with one hand, trying not to cry, but the tears spilled anyway. A small sob escaped before she could stop it.

"Mother?" the emperor asked quickly, rising from his bow to go to her side. His brows drew together with concern as he reached for her hand.

The empress glanced sideways and slowly straightened from his bow as well. His fingers clenched slightly.

He knew why the Empress Dowager was crying.

But seeing her cry like this made something else hit deeper.

He wasn't the only one who had lost something. A mother had lost her son. A father had lost his heir. His siblings had lost their protector. They had all lost the man who was supposed to stand at the center of it all.

And all because of a curse. A selfish, cruel curse.

He looked down at his hand and narrowed his eyes faintly.

Fine. Since everyone had paid the price for that curse, it was only fair that she did too.

He would visit Noble Lady Yu in her cell. He would personally escort her to her trip to hell.

Author's note

Oop, it seems our empress is maaad