My Sin

A Glimpse of the Past

The empress was seated next to the Empress Dowager, emphasizing his good standing. His position was clear to everyone in the hall.

He had given birth to seven legitimate children, three of them sons. Each child had been healthy, well cared for, and publicly acknowledged. His maternal family was powerful yet discreet. He had the Empress Dowager's full support and now, after everything, even the emperor stood firmly on his side.

There was no opening to challenge him.

With this many advantages, his seat as the empress could no longer be questioned, nor could it be shaken.

Across the hall, the expressions of the other concubines grew strained.

Some tried to keep smiling, lifting their teacups with grace, while others stole quick glances toward the high seats where the empress sat calmly, his face unreadable. Though no longer youthful in demeanor, there was a quiet confidence in his posture. His gaze never wandered. His every movement was composed.

That only made things worse.

How were they supposed to compete with someone like this?

It wasn't just that he had borne heirs--many heirs, but that he held the favor of both generations of power in the palace. Even if one of them were to give birth to a son, what would it matter? The empress had three. He had already secured the imperial bloodline.

Even worse, his sons were growing well, and the emperor seemed genuinely attentive to them.

It was a losing race.

A few of the more ambitious concubines lowered their heads slightly, trying to hide their unease. They had been in the palace for months. They had tried sending gifts, sending poetry, dressing carefully, acting gently, all the typical approaches, but nothing had caught the emperor's eye for long.

They didn't even know where to start anymore.

"It seems the emperor is popular. Look at them, so uneasy," the empress chuckled, voice light but without humor.

"It seems Yue'er is keen on stabbing my heart," the emperor replied gently, as he reached forward and placed peeled grapes onto the empress's plate, one by one, carefully.

The empress lowered his gaze. On the plate were small, neat portions of his favorites: peeled shrimp, chilled crab, sweet grapes without skin. His eyes glossed slightly.

This emperor, his emperor, knew them all by heart.

The sight of it stirred something in his chest.

"More like you want to stay and get stabbed," the empress muttered, snorting faintly as he tried to rein in the tightness building in his throat.

"When it's Yue'er holding the knife, where do I have the heart to duck?" the emperor said, laughing softly. His voice was full of indulgence, his eyes warm, like they always had been when looking at him. Like nothing between them had ever broken.

Before the empress could speak again, Hao Meng had stepped forward from the front of the hall.

"This general wishes the Empress Dowager a wonderful birthday. May you be filled with blessings and live for ten thousand years," he said, bowing low as he offered a toast. His voice was deep and strong, still carrying the firm, unwavering tone of a soldier.

The empress's gaze was drawn to him almost unconsciously.

Unlike the emperor, Hao Meng was not pale. His skin was tanned from years in the sun, but not rough. His build was tall and muscular, visibly powerful even beneath his formal robes. The emperor, though well-built, always carried a more slender presence, sharp at the edges, calm and contained. Hao Meng was not like that. He had always been the kind to move first, think later, to speak loud and act fast.

He hadn't changed.

Neither had the empress forgotten.

Though different from his past life, Hao Meng had still been his first love. They did not have a relationship in his altered lives, but he remembered clearly what had happened.

Back then, his parents had never restricted their children from exploring attachments before marriage. So when he, at fourteen, fell in love with Hao Meng, he had not hesitated.

He had pursued him boldly.

And Hao Meng had met him with equal intensity. Their feelings had come fast and burned bright. Theirs was the kind of passion that could not be hidden, even if they'd tried. For four years they loved one another, fiercely, almost recklessly. It had been the kind of love that consumed everything in its path.

But not all fires warm. Some only burn.

He had been strong-willed, proud, used to bending others to fit beside him. Hao Meng was hot-blooded, stubborn, used to forcing the world to match his pace. Especially his own. He always had to move forward, on his terms, not anyone else's.

Neither of them would yield.

They loved deeply, but neither knew how to soften for the other.

And still, when their wedding day arrived, he had believed in it. He had dressed with care, robes layered in bright red, his smile wide and full of certainty. He had sat waiting at the hall, surrounded by joy and wine, prepared to marry the love of his life.

He waited.

And waited.

Only to be told, long past the hour, that the groom had left for the borders.

At first, he believed there had been an emergency. That war had broken out. That Hao Meng had been called suddenly away for duty.

But then word reached him.

There was no war. No rebellion. No threat to the north.

Only that the emperor had requested someone to be stationed at the border—and Hao Meng had volunteered.

Without a word.

Without saying goodbye.

He had walked out. Walked away from him, from the wedding, from everything they had built together. And in that moment, something inside the empress went quiet.

He remembered sitting there in red, still and unmoving, as laughter faded around him. Remembered the weight of silence settling like dust in his chest.

And that was when he realized, how much of himself had been consumed by that love. How much he had burned for it, let it burn through him. He had mistaken passion for permanence. And in the end, all that remained was ash.

Because what they had built hadn't been made to last. It had only been intense.

He had loved fiercely. But he had never asked what lay beneath the fire.

Hao Meng had always been chasing something, his future, his name, his legacy. And on the day they were meant to begin a life together, he had chosen his ambition instead.

He had chosen himself.

And left nothing behind.

Author's note

For the next chapters, we'll get more background info, and slowly dive into their entanglement in their first life, so many loose ends will be tied. Anyways I hope you enjoyed!