Careless (completed)

Chapter 34: When you have it all, then lose it all

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Olivia stares at her in hysteria. She grabed her hand and started running along with Lucy.

"What have you done?"

"It wasn't me." Lucy yelled and her voice cracking this was the first time she realized she shouldn't have.

The officers were running. Everything happened in slow motion. The siren of the cops' car was loud.

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Lucy's pov

I woke up extremly disturbed of the dream I just had. Did I say dream? Sorry, it's the total opposite. I meant nightmare, that brought so many bad emotions. Made me feel terrified and scared...and some how guilty!

What did that mean? I know for certain that it was a car accident and cops were slowly grabing someone inside the car trying to rescue him.

I've always seen creepy nightmares. Probably this one's creepier cuz I was sad last night. Because I fell asleep with the picture of Chad's glassy eyes at the back of my head.

I lazily walked my way out of bed.

Got ready for more tormenting at school and drove.

After reaching there I felt like I had to make myself feel better about what happened last night. So, I went to Justin.

He was talking to a girl with short hair. Like really short I almost thought she wasn't a girl. But she wore a topless shirt exposing her bare shoulders which made me instantly realize that she IS a girl.

"Hey." I said acting over cheerful for someone who had just arrived at school.

"What's up, baby?" He said while she smiled at him and left.

"Nice shirt." I couldn't ignore the fact the he wore a pink shirt written on it in cursive 'Guilt is pleasure' . I gasped slighly realizing that I do feel guilty, maybe I always did, the feeling just filled me and I never realized it. I'm so messed up. Horribly...

"Thanks. I have physics. What do you have?" He said gesturing that he had to go.

I have nothing but shame, fear, and sadness. "Math."

"Kay. See ya."

I nodded. I thought talking to Justin would make me feel better about Chad...It didn't. Period.

The rest of the day went well. As usual, I couldn't care less to understand anything from any class. I just really wanned to leave.

I hate myself.

I need him. The phone guy.

But I gotta fight the tempting urge. He left me. I'll just keep lying to myself. Don't wanna be so naive.

"Hey Lucy!" Justin showed up in his car. "I'm not gonna be at my dad's house today."

I was gonna ask him why or when or...where was he gonna be. But, he just left.

I enhald and watched his car leave. I quietly sat into mine and opened the radio.

'Never neglect the signs' That's my advice today for you my listeners. Now, I'm gonna let you listen to some real music. If you live on Earth, you probably have heard about it.

( One direction- Drag me down ) Started playing.

I knew I had to change the way I felt so I thought about going somewhere far away. I have my car, my money, my bag, my phone. What else do I need? Chad? Symbolic. Cuz I just wanna feel better about doing this to him.