Grey

9.

Can't feel, can't see, can't hear. I'm completely numb, yet somehow still aware of my existence. I didn't like this feeling. I didn't like this...dark emptiness. Was this it? If Angels and Demons exist then there must be an afterlife right? What the hell was this then? I mean the last thing I remember was dying. I remember the water filling my lungs, I remember feeling scared. Now I feel nothing. I try grasping for something, for anything but it was like free falling in pitch black darkness. Instead of panicking I try to calm down. I try not to overthink and just listen to my surroundings. Focus on tuning in.

'Breathe'

'Breathe'

'Breathe'

At first I thought it was me, telling myself that. But as I listen closer and the voice grows louder I realize it's Dean.

'Breathe'

'Breathe'

'Breathe'

I try yelling for him but my voice was gone. His voice became more desperate and determined with every word.

'Breathe'

'Breathe'

'Breathe Grey!'

I want to scream. I want to tell him I can hear him, that I'm trying. I realize I'm starting to panic again and I know that doesn't help me. Focusing on something does. I try to on Dean's voice. I dissect every letter, every consonant, every sound wave in his words. I focus so hard on them I could practically feel them pulsing and beating on me. On my chest specifically....

What was that? What was this...feeling? A warm beating pumped hard onto my body desperately....like Dean's voice.

"Breathe dammit!"

Dean's P.O.V

"Breathe, breathe, breathe," I mumble under my breath as I push over and over on Grey's chest. She looked blue and her whole body was cold. I hadn't stopped trying to get her to wake up since we pulled her up onto the boat and back to shore. She still wasn't breathing though and I knew the longer she was out the more of a chance that she could be...dead. I couldn't let that happen. Especially since it would be because she saved Sam and I. The kid had courage, that's for sure.

"Breathe, breathe, breathe," I continue to mutter panicked.

"Dean," Sam said coming up from behind me. He had just finished taking care of the mermaids with a spell or some crap like that. I wasn't exactly concerned about that at the moment.

As I continue to go back and forth between giving mouth to mouth and pumping her chest, I see Sam check her pulse. I clench my jaw as his fingers run through his hair distraught-like. I knew what he was about to say and I didn't want to hear it.

"Dean-"

"Don't." I growl, not stopping my consistent movements.

"She doesn't have a pulse Dean."

I don't say anything. I act like he's not even there.

"Breathe, breathe, breathe Grey!" I was becoming disparate. The realization was sinking in and so was the guilt.

"Dean," I feel Sam's hand on my shoulder but I don't stop. I was getting angry. "Dean, please-"

"Shut up Sammy!" I bark. "Breathe dammit!"

Suddenly her body jerks up slightly as she coughs up water. I catch my breath in relief, helping her sit up as she coughs up the last of it. Instinct takes over me when I pull her into my chest protectively, trying to catch my breath. She grabs hold of my shirt trying to catch her breath as well.