Grey

15.

I waited there on the curb and tried to keep my legs from shaking. It was night so I felt even more exposed then I usually do. I wasn't afraid of someone hurting me, I was afraid of hurting them. I was so sick of feeling afraid all the time. I needed to face up to this thing. That's why I agreed to Castiel helping me find out. I couldn't run from this forever. I just hoped he could help me find the answers I was looking for.

A half hour later I see a black Impala pull up to the curb. First person I see get out is Dean. He doesn't approach me at first, he just stares, making if I'm okay psychically. And I think he was unsure if he was aloud to approach me. If I was still mad.

Fuck that.

I run to him and hug him tightly as I bury my head into his chest feeling myself start to cry again. At first he's kind of shocked. Once he gets over that though I feel his arms wrap tightly around me moments later. It was nice to feel safe again.

Dean's P.O.V

"She'll be fine Dean, she just needs time to cool down." Sam says trying to make me feel better. 

"Yeah, sure." I mumble taking another swig of whisky.

It's been a while since she took off from the mansion and no word from her yet. Not that I was expecting her to let us know she was okay. In fact I doubt she'll even come back. I really fucked up. I should have told her.

"Well I keep trying and nothing is happening." Cas says breaking out of his concentration to track Grey. "I can't find her."

"What do you mean? You somehow got into her head at the mansion didn't you? Why can't you now?" Sam asks.

"Yes I did, but it was only for a minute. I mean she was practically screaming her thoughts at the time to be fair. And she had just found out she murdered three men."

My jaw clenches.

"Well maybe we can try driving around for her, I mean she couldn't have gone that far-"

"No." I state bluntly.

"No?" Sam repeats slowly.

"No. If she wants to take off like that let her."

"Dean she's just scared. She doesn't know what's happening to her."

I sigh trying not to let the guilt destroy me. I knew that. I knew she was just angry with me and was trying to cope. But I didn't like this flight instinct she had. It made me feel so uneasy. I suppose with the childhood she had though it's all she knows.

"I know. I'm just worried is all."

Sam nods understandingly.

"So am I, I mean you saw how she reacted in the mansion. She's getting more unstable."

I nod.

"That is why we must find her." Cas says sternly. "She's dangerous."

"She's scared." I correct. His whole attitude towards her worried me. I didn't like how he talked about her like she was a problem we needed to deal with.

"It's getting dark and she probably didn't have any money on her. So she's probably out on the streets." I say not liking the words coming out of my mouth.