The One I Was Waiting For.

The Diary?

"You are probably wondering where was I these two years. I was too late. I was irresponsible. But the thing was, the day I left home, I went to a psychotherapist. I was too sure I had some problem. I loved her too much, Mishi, how could I hurt her?" He says and I listen carefully; keeping a straight face. But only I know how tough it is to keep a straight face when your father is almost crying in front of you and sharing these things.
"The doctor told me I had some kind of mental disease and it was important to treat it. I was so bloody angry at you both that I did not tell you about it and asked them to directly treat me. I started living in a hotel and they started my treatment. But as I missed you both more and more, I started going mad. The treatment did not help me at all." He pauses to breathe.
"And that's when they admitted me in their mental hospital."

Two words. He said just two plain words and my world just went upside down by those.
My father lived in a mental hospital?
No one can tell the pain I feel right now. I feel sorry, I feel bad, I feel mad.
I feel heartaches.

"Mishi..." He softly says and touches my hand.
I hold his hand and smile as million pieces inside me breaks and cuts me from inside; giving me wounds that can never be healed.

"I am okay." I say and signal him to continue.

"My recovery was slow. Usually, the disease I had, could be cured in ten months. But I took twenty months for that." He sighs with disappointment.
"I was totally fine. I prepared myself to come back to you both, as the old good husband and the best daddy of the world. I forgave her totally and was willing to tell her that. But when I came..."

His voice finally breaks and tears flow out. And that's when I realize, I an crying too. We both squeeze each other's hands as if to tell each other we are here. Our silent sobs continue and he starts telling me again.

"I was alone... My wife was dead. My daughter was not mine anymore. God! Mishi, that hurt a lot. Knowing that, because of me and only me, our happy, beautiful family teared apart. I ruined it." He groans in frustration and says. I can feel his pain. I can tell what he is suffering from. And I know its genuine.
I feel so sorry for him. But it's all fate and we can't just change it.

"I believed after that I never had a family. I lived alone and almost normal...till I found your mom's diary." He says and coughs weakly. I use this time to wipe my tears; take a deep breath and relax.

"Get it.. Its there." He points to the drawer of the table adjacent to us and say.
I get up and go there. My legs shake as I walk and pull the diary out of the drawer.
Mom had a diary?
I return back and give it hesitantly to him. He smiles and I find wrinkles around his eyes as he does that. He has become old and so weak.

He opens the diary and smells it.

"It still have your mom's smell. I love opening it." He says.

"What is in it, daddy?" I say softly.

He all of a sudden looks up and stares me getting very shocked. I get scared.

"W-what?" My mouth says.

"Call me that again.." His eyes leave some more tears.

"Daddy..." I say and my sight get blurred too.

He extends his hands and I slowly push myself in his arms. We hug gently and cry in each other's embrace till we get tired and till there's a knock on our door.
We pull apart and wipe our tears. I sit straight and say "come in."

A scared Rob peeks inside and smiles; as if he knows we were crying just seconds ago. I smile back at him and blinks reassuringly.
He comes inside with a tray of two bowls in hand. My stomach growls and I get excited.
What? I am hungry...