The One I Was Waiting For.

"You really are beautiful..."

We are walking on the streets, his hands entwined with mine. I want to be angry at him and slap him and kill him but with his body in contact with mine, I can't do anything but feel my heart beat racing.
Why does he have this effect on me?

I get it so well now. Now I get why I felt a similar feeling when I hugged or cuddled Rob. Why I felt complete when he stayed with me.
I didn't feel sad at all when he was around...and that was because he was the only one I was sad about.
On one side he hurt me like a douchebg being Dave and the next moment he comforted me and made me feel special being Rob.

What the hell was he thinking while doing that all?

My face reddens and now I know I can't control it.

"WHY?" I leave his hand angrily and push him; while shouting madly. My expressions are scary and I know that by his reaction.
He just looks at me; fear scattered on the face.

"You think its a game? My feelings are just a stupid game FOR YOU?" I shout and feel my head pounding. I am so furious. I think its the first time I am shouting at anyone like that.

"Mishi...what are-" he says but I cut off him.

"Don't!" I keep my palm on his chest and push him as he tries to come close.

"I accepted my feelings to you right an hour ago...and guess what? I came to know you're the same guy who was hurting me all along! Its like first you're slapping me and then aiding the wound. Its fun, huh?" My pitch gets low; but the anger is still the same.

"You need to listen why I did this..." His face turns dark. He looks at me seriously and for once I feel myself getting weak. But immediately shaking my head, I get my posture again.

"I don't want to! I trusted you, for heaven's sake! Being Dave you proved my love wrong and now being Rob, you proved my trust wrong." I say and turn on my heel.

I start to run. I hear him calling my name but I don't stop.
I start to cry while running and so eventually fall down on my knees.
I hold my face in my hands and sob.
I shared with him those things which I had hide from even myself for years. Its so stupid of me to not realize all this time it was him.

It starts raining.
Yeah this was only left now.

I look up to the sky and water lands on my face.
I remember the night at the weekend when I danced in the rain with him. I feel myself crying again.
I so much need him. But...

I sit on the ground not bothering whatever happens.
My emotions are pouring out just like the rain now. Consistently and heavily.
I feel someone's foot steps. He is breathing fast as if came running.
I close my eyes and gulp to make myself calm. I need to know now. Why did he do this?

"Mishi..." His words leave me in shock.
He is crying.

I quickly stand up and turn around to see a crying Rob standing with hanging shoulders.

"Rob.." I whisper and run to him. I hug him jumping and holding his neck. He holds me back.

Its so sad. I know he's hurt me but I still can't bear this sight. He too knows what it's to be hurt by someone you love. He definitely have a reason for all that.
I can't live without him that's why I am melted so easily.
But I am still not sure if I can forgive him.

We both cry in each other's embrace. I hug him tighter by each second. I don't ever want to lose him.

Its so stupid I love him after all that has happened. And love makes me so stupid. I was so determined that I will never fall in love when I saw my parents in that condition. But now I am trapped in this undeniable feeling.
I then stop crying and wipe his cheeks. But its just not happening. He is crying so much.