The Criminal and The Vigilante (boyxboy) Bk 3

Chapter 7: The heart wants what it shouldn't...

Chapter 7

I was in love with Adrian.

I’d actually gone and fallen for the guy, I couldn’t believe it. I’d tried so hard to put in as little effort as possible. I’d gone into this relationship with my eyes wide open, my head on my body and my heart locked and sealed away yet here I was practically drooling over the man.

I’d told myself that after Laken that was it but I suppose I made my first mistake when I got into the relationship with Adrian in the first place.

With a sigh I ran my free hand through my hair and gripped the steering wheel with the other. How could I not have realized  my feelings toward him were changing from just caring to full blown, heart pumping, stone fucking cold love?

Fuck.

This was just a whole pot of mess and when I remembered the smile on Adrian’s face as I’d left his place this morning, I found myself getting even more frustrated. He was clearly happy about this turn of events. I would be lying if I said my traitorous heart didn’t jump a little when I saw that smile, I guess it all came with the package; he was happy so I unconsciously felt great about it.

 I really should have realized though because now that I thought about it, I had been feeling this for at least a few months now but I guess I was just so caught up with the thought of never loving that when I had actually fallen I hadn’t even realized it.

Seeing another man wrapped around him had removed the shades from my eyes so to speak and I couldn’t say it was a good feeling.

I was scared…no try terrified. I didn’t know how I’d deal with another heartbreak. If Adrian were to suddenly up and leave or if God forbid something happened to him I honestly had no idea how I’d cope. This was the reason I hadn’t wanted love again.

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the road. I had to clear my head for this mission. No more thinking about the lover I left at home, no more thinking about my traitorous heart or worrying about it breaking. Today I was to begin my assignment.

My agency friend had dropped off another file and I had to go out of town for this one and if what I read in the file was true –and I had no doubt it was- then I was in for a long one, a week at the least and the thought that I’d miss Adrian angered me.

It was strange because before I had realized I loved him I never had him constantly on my mind, I never missed him as much and I never kept replaying all the little things he….shit.

I had done all those things, I just hadn’t really thought much about it. Yeah I was screwed.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel, what made it worse was the fact that I didn’t trust Adrian. One day he’d do something so terrible I’d have no choice but to either walk away or take him down and neither of those options appealed to me. Maybe I could quit while I was ahead.

End it before he got the chance to but even the very thought or ending things sent a shot of pain through my chest. I was running scared like a damn coward and I honestly had no idea what to do. End it? Or Stay and risk my heart?

……………………………………

~Adrian’s POV~

“So you’re saying he told you he loved you? Just like that? What happened to the other night?” My brother Scottie question, his eyes wide with disbelief.