A Man From The Moon

Chapter 33 - Sacrifice For My love

JEFF POV

I can't sleep , my throat feel rough to swallow food , my chest feel so heavy. One more day to wait and it feel hard for me. I can't handle myself just look at his empty face , no morning kiss no lovely words to my ears.

I stand and walk out from the house.

"Where are you going?Jeff"
Ben's mom ask me.

"I just need some fresh air , maybe walk to the waterfall"
"Okay , be careful"

I just node and walk. I just walk barefoot. Ben loves to walk barefoot. I can feel the air on my face , waterfall just in front of me. I sit on the big rock . I let my tears fall now, I can't hold it anymore.

"Please come back to me, Ben. It hurts so much inside me when you are not with me. I miss you.. miss you"

I forget how long that I sit on the rock , my mind just thinking about Ben , he is smiling, he is waiting for me in the water, touching my hand. Itts all him in my mind. Time runs so slow when he is not around.

"Why does God give me this ability but I can't heal you, why. It's useless when you the one I love but can't save you and you give me some of you power , now you hurt. What will happen to my life if you can't come back again! Arghhhh I hate you,Ben! I hate myself! I miss you Ben!"
I'm screaming and crying so hard again.
...
I feel so nervous , my feelings are not so easy.

"I have prepared all for the ritual , let's bring him outside."

It's almost 12 at midnight. We lay Ben on the ritual table , The Older wears his ritual outfit and reading mantra that I do not understand , it sounds like old native language while wiping eagle feathers on Ben's body . The red moon is out of the dark sky and the light is so bright on the ritual spot.

"Oh, my Moon Goddess , lets hear our wish our son that lost after being poisoned . Here as you command us on the Red Moon. Please help him and let him back"
"It's not easy .."
"Why?"
"Something they want to let him go , something that is so important from his bonding mate"
"Just tell me what it is"
"The most he cherish, his voice"

If my voice can help to bring him back , I will sacrifice anything even my life.

The Older look at me.
"You have any rejection?"
"Take it if that can bring him back"

My tears fall .
The Older take my hand and put it on Ben's chest. My tears drop on his chest. The Older spells the mantra and the last I remember he said.
"This is his sacrifice to bring back the soul"

I feel my head so hurt and my vision turn blurry.

...
I open my eyes, I'm on the bed. My head and my neck is so hurt.
Ben, My Love is on the bed with me but still sleeping.
His mom sit at the chair beside the bed. I try to talk but it hurt to say any word. I try to communicate, I look at her .

"He is still sleeping but The Older said he will wake up soon. The only reason he will be late to wake is his spirit still far from him"

I nod, try to give her smile.
Wake from the bed and go to the bathroom.

I'm crying, I know this is my choice but how can I want to speak to him. Is that he will be okay to see me like this? Will he still love me like before? I know he will but ... Will he blame himself for this, I don't want that to happen.

I take a deep breath.
I write a notes on the paper and left it on the table. I kiss his temple .
Its my bad decision but how I'm suppose to do. I can't look at his face with my condition , he will blame himself.

" I love you, for all my life. Take care y love"

I speak without my voice. My tears keep falling. I'm thinking if I stay he will sacrifice his self for me, I don't want that he already done everything for me.

I sent a messages to my manager a.k.a my aunt to pick me up. She know what happened to me . I told her , she been shocked and my parent too. They can't disagree with it, its my choice. I walk out from the house without tell anyone.
...
I decided to drive alone after explaining everything to my aunt. She just updated the media that I decided to rest and hiatus for a while.
I don't know where I will be going, just follow where this road will take me or the place that attract me. I remember note that I left for Ben , I hope he is not sad that I left him and he will force himself to find me.

~I need to go, I love you the love of my life.
I know you will be sad that I left you but If fate still belongs to us, we meet again.
Jeff~

Along the way the drive , my memories about Ben playing in my mind, my tears flowing that I can't stop. I sacrifice my voice because of him, because I love him I can't imagine my life without my mate, the love of my life. I will die without him.

I stop the car, at the side of the road. It's on the hill and the sunset is so beautiful .

"It's so beautiful and I'm so lonely"

It's bout the sun will set and dark , I will continue my drive to find somewhere to sleep tonight.
30 minutes drive, I found a signboard that write
House on Hill
Open for stay , no reservation.
No second thought, I drive to the house. I ring the bell on the receptionist counter. A middle aged woman come no longer after the bell ring.

"Welcome to the house. I'm Rin , the owner of the house. Here is the catalog of rooms that you can choose to stay"
I look at it.
"Is this room still available?"
I choose the room that has a balcony and has an environment.
"Good choice, yeah it's still available. How long will you stay?"
"I don't know yet, maybe more than a week"
"Oh, you can stay as long as you want but I will collect the money every 3 days and now you can pay for 3 days first"

I'm not bringing many stuff, I just pack my bag pack with notebook , my laptop, some toiletries and two set of clothes.
The owner gave me the key and she said I can use washing machine, bicycle and free food . I throw my back on the floor and jump on the bed.

... 3month later ...
It's feel like just yesterday, I here. I never imagine I can far away from My Love for 3 months already. At first I fell like hell, I can't sleep and my life is so suffocating.
I try to learn to communicate with other, the owner teach me sign language and teach me local dialect. She so good to me.

Every day I will write something on my notebook and start to write lyrics and note. Take photos also my favorite now. I walk to local market every day, take photos with my phone, sit for hour at local cafe then back to the house and sit at the balcony or chilling outside the house.
I'm humming the notes that I write in my mind. I write words that come to mind.

~Before daylight breaks us at the seams
Before the night ends, all just a dream
Before all the memories start to fade
Just think back one last time to the nights like these
Before you're gone and
Before daylight breaks us at the seams
Before the night ends, all just a dream
I just want to hold onto those nights like lucid dreams
Pretending we're still asleep
Before you're gone and wake from me~
(Lucid)

I miss you My love. The wind blow on my face so calm.

Dap..Dup Dup
My heart feel heavy and beating so fast without I knowing why. I feel nervous.

"I found you..."
I try to turn my head and...

Continue...

*****
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