Ali's POV
I stood at the stove wearing one of Emily's oversized shirts that barely covered my thighs with the sleeves pushed up to my elbows. I flipped the eggs - or tried to at least. One broke in the pan, yolk bleeding across the skillet.
"Oops," I muttered under my breath. I quickly looked back at Emily, who was perched on a stool at the island, nursing a mug of coffee, hair damp from the quick shower she'd taken. She looked so effortlessly beautiful it was almost rude.
"Need help?" Emily offered, her voice still husky from sleep.
"No, I got it." I quickly said. I could feel Emily's eyes lingering, amused, knowing. She knew me well enough to spot the panic under my nonchalance.
The toaster clicked, spitting two pieces of slightly burnt bread. "Shit." I muttered under my breath. I plated everything and slid a plate in front of Emily. "Breakfast of champions."
Emily leaned forward, brushing her fingers along my thigh as she took her plate. "Thank you baby." She said as she spread butter on the bread.
"You're welcome." I smiled and sat down across from Emily with my coffee in hand. The moment was quiet - sunlight flooding the kitchen, a lazy song playing faintly from the speaker, the smell of over-toasted bread and Emily's shampoo in the air.
"Ali." I blinked and looked at Emily.
"What?"
"You've been staring at your fork for five minutes."
I exhaled and set the fork down and laughed a little. "Just... thinking."
Emily leaned her chin on her hand. "About what?"
I hesitated for a second before answering. "About how lucky I am." Emily looked like she was studying me, then stood from her seat, walked around the island and pulled me into a hug.
"We both are." I closed my eyes and let her scent envelope me. I pulled away and kissed Emily's wrist.
"I love you ." I said as I smiled at her. She pressed a kiss to my temple.
"I know. I love you too."
A few weeks later
The dishes were done, the toys picked up, and the house was finally quiet - the kind of quiet that only arrived when Addison was in her room with music on, Honor was tucked into bed with two stuffed animals and a nightlight, and Taj was down after an epic battle involving three lullabies and an emergency diaper.
I sat on the couch in one of Emily's hoodies, my wine , untouched, sat on the table in front of me as I stared off into space.
"You've been quiet," Emily said as she gently sat beside me.
"I'm just tired."
"You're always tired babe. This is something else."
I pressed my fingers to my temples, sighing heavily. "I missed Addison's driving lesson yesterday. And Honor told me at bedtime she almost didn't show me her school art project because she thought I'd be too busy. And Taj - he's starting to reach for you more than me." My voice cracked as tears formed in my eyes. Emily leaned in and pulled me into a hug.
"I've been working so hard to give them everything, but I feel like I'm becoming the parent who's... not there." I whispered and Emily pulled away.
"You are there, Ali," She started off gently. "You are so there. They see you. I see you." I shook my head.
"But what if im giving them everything except me?" Emily was quiet for a moment.
"Then maybe it's time to think about not being at the studio for a while. I'm not saying give it up completely cause you and Hanna are doing amazing. Just don't go there everyday." I nodded my head. Emily smiled. "You know what Honor told me a couple of nights ago? She said, 'Mama's not home a lot, but she's loveworking.' Her exact words."
