The ongoing, never ending bitch fest

Physical Education

Ok, so I would like to share my opinion on the gross mis-justice that our education system calls "Physical Education" most commonly known as "P.E." Now dont get me wrong. I used to really like P.E. when I was in fifth grade and it wasnt serious. Nowadays we have hard ass teachers who think they are U.S. military officers drilling the skills to survive out their into our (their soldiers) heads. I mean what the hell. The funnier thing is that the P.E. teachers/ Army Generals are fat!

My P.E teacher has a grown out bowl cut, a pot belly, and a serious opinion about physical education. I swear my teacher is the female version of the Rock Johnson. Freaking die hard P.E. teacher. 

So I'm gonna say it. I have a problem with authority. I dont like being told what to do unless I know why I'm doing it. But when I am told to run through the entirety of a song. I rebel. I cant take it. I look at them defiantly and say "No" With a blank face. You should see me its quite a sight to see. That is of course until I get an F for the class that day. Lets just say I swallowed my pride and my issue with authority. 

Ahh lets list all the other stupid things about P.E. 

Since we were talking about running why dont we speak about that. I dont know if its the same for all of you, but for me it is hell. My lungs heave inside my chest struggling for air while my mouth is wide open trying to recieve it for my longs. My legs ache with unexplainable pain and my nose burns from the air rushing through it too fast. When I say Hell I mean Hell. When I think about doing bad things I think about running. Cause thats much more frightening than Dante's Inferno if you ask me. I mean can you imagine running for an eternity. Never getting any better at it.

That would be far worse than an eternal fire. I mean eventually you would just be sizzling ash that way. This way your muscles would be popping from your legs. Screaming for relief. Your lungs constantly labouring in your chest. Your heart' arteries burning as the blood pumps through it. I mean running for me literally seeps into every part of my body and causes pain. 

Plus it makes me angry when I have to do things and I dont know why so my nails dig into my palms and turn those into hamburger. Its a vicious cycle, it really is. 

Now lets talk about how freaking stupid it is. Now the media and just about every bleeding heart in America dispises competition. Because lets face it there is no healthy competition unless the two people competing dont care and that is not the case with P.E. class. There is ALWAYS some hot shot jock in their just waiting to play a game. 

You know the kind that is good at every kind of thing sporty. You say basketball they say easy. You say baseball they say I could sleep while playing. You say lets play the game where its like ultimate football but you put the football through the basketball hoop they ask if they could have a challenge. Then of course you say take 2 supplementary angles. angle 1 = 10x-14 angle 2= 3x-81 tell them to find x and the measures of the angles and that little light goes right out of their eyes doesnt it? Oh well certain things for everyone arent there? 

Anyway P.E. sucks because you have a drill sergent for a teacher. A competitive dung bomb filled class and to top it all off you only get 2 excused absencese per semester. Oh how lovely. You may ditch this class twice but then we take 10 points off your grade after that.

And what do you do to make it up? You go in on wensday. Thats the day my school starts later. Usually its at 7:30 on that day its at 9:11. Dont ask me why they chose that time. I thought 9:12 might be more sensitvie but who am i? anyway they make you come in at 8:30 and they say go get dressed in your pe clothes. Now run around this gym for 10 minutes. 

You come back almost dead and they say " ok now 100 push ups and 100 sit ups." 

You go back again teetering dangeriously close to the light. They observe you with their squinty eyes nod their heads and point back and forth across the length of the gym 

"Now do lunches all the way down and all the way back."

You do them. It was almost relaxing till the end there where it got hard again. You go back to the teacher 

"How many classes does this make up?" I ask ( who had 3 to make up before she has 100 points again. right now she is at a B-)

"Do the work out over again," says the gym teacher 

I nodd numbly 

"Yeah ok I'll make those up another time," I reply grabbing my back pack "You have a good one,"

"You too," that nasty drill sergent laughs. 

Then you get to smell the rest of the day. How fun for you. 

I hope this made you guys laugh. Going through my own personal hell with me. Please suggest what my next rant should be about. Ask and I promise you shall recieve. If you post it I will make a rant about it. Hell you can even give me little jokes you would like fitted in there. I love you guys. Keep on laughing you guys.