Courage to Fly

I'm Here, My Friend Reprise

After a long and stressful night, Asahina awoke from her nightmare, only to wake again in another one, where it was all real. At least it wasn't exactly like her nightmare. And the nightmare is not so much like her life-for a nightmare, it had some points in time where it was even better than her real life.

In her dream, she was running fast in the dark, floor pounding at her steps, and something was following behind her. Then, she slipped into a hole, a large one, and it was like a fairy tale of some sort. Snow White, maybe?

Then suddenly, she had fallen safely into a beautiful garden, which made her worries melt away for a bit. The beautiful landscape was stunning to anyone's eye, and even the most hateful people would melt at the sight. 

The leaves were a fresh green, a color that made you feel alive, really alive. Even someone with depersonalization or depression would feel resurrected. Flowers of every kind, daffodils, cherry blossoms, tulips, roses and other unique flowers blossomed about, all together in a pretty picturesque scenery.

Asahina felt uplifted; there was no schoolwork, no noisy people, no judging eyes, and best of all, no one to control how she lived her life.

Happy to be free, she ran around, flowers tickling her fingers that ran past them,  bluebirds sweeping past merrily, a lively lake streaming about. And then, she found a large, brazen apple tree, laden with the latter.

She danced around it uncharacteristically, but a dream was a dream. She was free to be herself, and no one, no one could ever stop her here, unless she woke up. 

Suddenly, as she fell dizzy from dancing, she found herself in a bramble of apples, and sat down to breathe. The air felt crisp to her lightheaded symptom, but the mood was cheery nonetheless. She wouldn't have been able to do this in real life.

Then, she heard some whispering. A low voice, murmuring in her ear. "All in my head" she muttered, swatting away at her head, hoping it was busy bees politely brushing past her.

Then, a pair of hands graced their way to the top of her head. She felt them there, barely. As if something was trying to keep her in place.

She began to panic; why couldn't she have a good dream for once? What was so wrong with her trying to enjoy herself, and in a dreamscape of all places? She heard the murmurs more defined now: "Stay. stay here forever, my dear, sweet daughter." a cackle ensued afterward. 

The voice made her still. More than she already was. 

Especially when she thought she was finally free. She panicked. The voice repeated itself. "Stay, stay, please. Stay here, forever. Where you belong. With me."

Why this was happening now, she didn't know. Most of her dreams were forgettable, and she would wake up and forget it within an hour of being up and about. Either that, or she would rest in a dreamless sleep, which was a monotone dark that held her mind captive for hours on end. 

So why was this happening when she was finally on the brink of freedom? Was this a subconscious thought resurfaced?

The following morning, the dream plagued her mind the worst out of everything else she was starting to worry about. She was preparing herself for school, and as she made herself  breakfast, she knocked over a potted plant resting on the island table, and the dirt made a shape that looked like a four. 

Four is a bad number in Japan, since it's a homophone for death. And obviously, death is  a bad omen enough....what is going on? Asahina pondered.

School was fine. It was a normal day. Kanade and her had a picnic with some classmates indoors since the weather ended up worse than they expected. 

The classes were a breeze, and they had easy tasks to complete that sort of let Asahina wonder about her weird dream and how it could possibly affect her. Mizuki told her that they believe that dreams you remember can be messages, and based on what she had experienced, it was probably obvious. 

When Asahina got home again, her mother was awaiting her rather than cleaning and tending to the house as usual.

                                                                                       ☆☆☆

Running away from her problems yet again, she ran off into the night, the rain yet again pouring its heart and soul onto the street. She was with nothing to be with. Her mother had found her diary after reading the fake one and realizing it was to to good to be true, and had found all the secret notes and letters she had in the back of her closet behind her old middle school uniforms. 

And burned the letters. Photographed the diary entries, and forbade her from going to school, ever again.

Asahina had be resilient, but that could only do so much.

Her mother didn't care for what she had to say, what she had to offer, nothing. She then thought back on all her efforts to break free: skipping practice for school, wearing her hair differently, doing her  mother's chores and cooking for herself, since her mom usually controlled that aspect, and then there was the band.

Her real home. And then the big performance at the park. And almost getting arrested. And then, lying in bed for months till school started up again. 

Just when things were finally looking up.

She had waited till dinner and stuff, and had her bag in tow when she ran away, from the only "home" she'd know.

Asahina ran into the night, and found her phone in her parents'dresser while her mother bathed and her father watched TV. 

She called Kanade as she was packing, but spoke in a slow, low voice that would hopefully go unheard to those waiting beyond the walls.

And she ran like no tomorrow, not bothering to watch for cars passing or other pedestrians and night walkers such as herself. And then, she made it.

To the place where it all began, essentially.

Kanade's home. She awaited her outside in her usual jumpsuit, hair cascading down her back, worry inscribed on her face.

The two ran into each other,  just across the street from Kanade's house. And Asahina sobbed into Kanade's shoulder, everything from all of those months flowing up and out from the pits of god knows where.

                                                                                       ☆☆☆

The warmth of her room once again welcomed her, somewhat washing away the pain that had been there for so long, maybe even years. They ate a nice amount of ramen and some chips that Kanade had stocked somewhere in her room, maybe under her bed.

It was silent, except for the outrageous downpour that painted the windows blurry and cold. The show on Kanade's screen spoke in the background. Asahina thought that she was probably bored, and she wouldn't blame her. 

Asahina didn't think she was much of a worthy guest, anyways. The night soon became silent, and Asahina then fell asleep.

Her life was too tiring.