Raw [#Wattys2015]

Chapter 9

The feeling of my body being at a complete state of relaxation is something that is euphoric and unmatched. Have I ever felt this relaxed?

No, I can't say that I have.

Only a few minutes have passed since we wrapped ourselves around each other, but somehow it feels like it's been much longer. As hard as it was for me to admit that this is exactly where I want to be, I'm glad that he didn't let me succumb to being the coward that I am. I'm glad that he forced me to verbalize what I wanted because I doubt I would feel as content as I am feeling right now if he hadn't.

I'm sure that if I would have wandered into his bedroom and simply crawled up next to him in his bed, I would never have known if he really wanted me there or not. I haven't know him long, but I know with one hundred percent certainty that James isn't the kind of guy that is going to demand that a vulnerable woman, post-nightmare leave his bed. He would have let me cling to him like a vine out of sympathy and the kindness in his heart. So, I'm sure that if I wouldn't have admitted to him that this is what I wanted, I would have been laying here, wondering if he was holding me to be polite or because he likes the way I feel in his arms.

Now, because of his insistence, I know that this is where we both want to be, because if he didn't want me here he could have easily let me walk away. His arms wouldn't be wrapped so tightly around me and his nose wouldn't be buried in my hair.

He wants me here just as much as I want to be here and it makes me feel like I'm melting inside. I always thought melting was another lame cliché saying, but it must be true because I certainly don't feel solid. I'm weak at the knees, prickled along every inch of my skin and completely boneless.

"Rory?" he murmurs my name against my hair, and it is the most beautiful combination of groggy and smooth.

"Yes?"

"Are you awake?"

I chuckle, "I wouldn't be answering you if I wasn't."

He laughs too. "Fair enough, smart ass. I just wanted to tell you that I was worried about you last night." I can hear him swallow and can sense the discomfort he is feeling in this moment. He doesn't have to finish explaining why he was worried for me to understand. I know it has something to do with what happened in his truck the other day. Something terrible happened to someone he cared for deeply and a lack of communication or a change in normal tendencies probably terrifies him. I'm sure last night when I didn't come home he was probably wondering if I was okay and it makes me feel like a complete jerk for being so self-absorbed and not considering his feelings.

"I'm sorry. I should have let you know where I was." I admit, hating the feeling of guilt radiating through me.

The thumb of his hand resting on my back starts to move slowly, "I'm not telling you so that you will apologize to me. You don't have to check in with me, you're a grown woman. I'm just used to you being here every night... and, well, I worried because I didn't know."

"No, I understand. Really, I do." I shift my body so that I can look up at him. "I always tell Maggs when I plan to stay at my Dad's house so there isn't any reason I can't tell you too. I don't want you to worry about me."

He lifts his hand and pushes my hair behind my ear affectionately, not breaking eye contact with me. My cheeks flush pink as I offer him a small smile. "Besides, I would have worried about you." I whisper. "I should be more considerate."

Shifting back to where I was, I rest my cheek on his bare chest and let out a yawn. Fatigue is taking over my relaxed body.

"Do you stay at your Dad's place a lot?"