Raw [#Wattys2015]

Chapter 23

Feeling helpless isn't an emotion I want to be familiar with anymore. I've come so far and was really beginning to believe that I was starting to overcome everything that caused those kinds feelings. But the moment we shut the doors to the truck and escaped the curious looks from my Dad, James' expression brought those feelings right back to the surface. Iwish for once, I could feel in control of something instead of feeling like Iam at the mercy of whatever current tragedy is leading my life. It figures that I only get a few weeks of happiness before it all comes crashing down.

 I know Jeremy well enough to know that something in that box is one of his many manipulative schemes to get his way.

Jeremy always gets his way, no matter what, and he stops at nothing until he is satisfied. Whatever he wants, he plans to get it whether he has to take it forcefully or he manipulates the situation enough to make it, or me, to come willingly.

I don't know what is in the small box that James refuses to let me see, but what I do know is that it's something that made him angry enough to spit out a few choice curse words while the tendons in his neck poked out far enough to look painful. 

I hate that before we were involved, I never heard the guy utter a single distasteful word and now, after allowing me into his life, he has started blurting out obscenities like it comes second nature to him when he is mad. Like a bad influence in true form, I'm bringing out the worst in him. I wish it were possible to just escape all the baggage, drama and tragic pieces of my past and find a way to move forward. We will never heal like this.

 

"James, you're scaring me. Will you please tell me what's in it?"

His knuckles grip the steering wheel tightly. "We're going straight to the police station, Rory. We're reporting this and until I say so you are not to leave my sight. Do you understand me?"

I nod meekly, placating him until he is calm enough to inform that his request isn't reasonable. We both have jobs, it's obviously not possible for me to remain in his sight at all times.

"Are we going to the police station now?"

"Yes."

Placing my hand on his arm, I use my thumb to rub soothing circles on his skin. "You told me earlier that everything was going to be okay and I think it will." I'm lying through my teeth, but what else can I say? "Oh James, I'm sorry but things are about to turn to shit. Hope you're ready." 

He doesn't respond but instead grips the small box in his other hand tighter. I don't recall seeing this angry ever before, not even when we were fighting over our relationship. His anger right now is fueled by fear and he seems to be losing control quickly. It's not typical for him to lose control. Everything about him is careful and calculated, even when he is mad. This unfamiliar side of him scares me, not in a way that makes me fear for my safety, but in a way that makes me fear his.

"James, may I please see what is in the box? It was addressed to me and..." I hesitate, not wanting to anger him further orrock the boat I'm cling to. "I just want to understand why you're so angry. You haven't told me anything. All I know is that whatever is in that box has you furious."

He merges off the highway, onto a frontage road inthe direction of the Warren Police Department. "I don't want you to worry. Just let me handle this, okay?"

Squeezing his arm, I angle my body so that I'm facing him mostly. "I'm already worried, James. The look on your face is terrifying me. You look like you're going to combust any second."