betwixt

November - December

November 5, 2013        2:37 pm

            People say there are more of them on Halloween but that's not true. In fact during Halloween a lot of them disappeared. They just turned into a white orb and floated into the sky or earth. I don't have many friends anymore; at least not dead ones.

November 6, 2013        9:00pm

            What’s left of The Band came to my house this morning. It's been almost five months since I last saw them. Romeo came to apologize again. I told him to forget it, that it was alright. I honestly tried to make him feel better, but we all knew it wasn't okay, that it was impossible to forget. For a few minutes they tried to avoid and ignore my tearing eyes but it could not be helped, they started tearing up. It's been five months, but the loss is great.

            Kayla managed to break her hand and lost a finger.  Romeo broke his leg in two places and dislocated his shoulder. Vincent has been in the hospital with a serious lung infection and minor brain damage. I broke a few ribs on my right side and permanently damaged the right shoulder. She died.

            The drummer, the pianists, two guitarists, and the lead singer. The band was over and done with.

November 6, 2013      11:12 pm

            The twist and turns of scattered bones litter my brain with pain and hurt.

November 8, 2013     12:00 pm

            Today I found a quote that perfectly suited me right now, "I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe." I mean I’ve felt that way before but never enough for it to bother me.

November 9, 2013       6:44 am

            The LGBT club held a film festival today. I got stuck manning the concession stand. Last year she and I had played host.

November 15, 2013     4:36 am

            I remember in one of her blog post, going back to when we first started dating, she simply posted a title with no content. The title was “She looked at me until I fell in love with her”.

            More like I looked at her until she saw me…

November 25, 2013    5:13 pm

            I've been searching everywhere for you. In the knots of the last strand of hope we had to hold on to, in the womb of your laughter as I watch it tumble down your lips from across a room that is more miles apart than memories that gore caught like sunlight in webs of your hair. You are always and never there.

December 2, 1013          5:11 pm

            While playing video games my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told I wanted her to make Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a reality. I have never seen the movie but from the previews they erase their memory so as to not feel pain. I want it.

            …She caught me at a bad time. After a few minutes I went down stairs to prepare a meal for my mother who had a rough day at work.

December 8, 2013         1:00 pm

            I woke up to find this weird Asian dude in my closet. When I went to put some clothes on he was just in there. Staring. It was weird. I literally screamed so loud my father came running in with a bat.