Unspoken (Sitkolson Threequel)

15| Gun To A Decaying Heart.

(A/N: Ryan's smile could save a life, just look how precious it is! ENJOY!!)

Music: Terrible Things (by Mayday Parade)

**********************(Extreme) TRIGGER WARNING******************************

*Ryan's POV* 

       I still have bruises blooming on my throat from where Ricky's fingers rested. I guess i asked for it. I shouldn't have hit him in the first place, i really do love him, the jealous just got to me. They say that love is one of the most powerful emotions, but jealousy and hate were the strongest.

        We didn't even get to finish the video because the condition that both of us were in. I was still having trouble breathing and from what i heard, he wasn't in any better condition. But we all went home after Chris lectured us on how we were ruining the band and each other all together. 

        After drifting into a sullen sleep a few hours ago, i woke up just moments later from yet another bad dream. I kept dreaming that either I or Ricky was getting hit by a train. Yeah, i know, what a morbid dream, i agree but i think the worst part was that we jumped in front of the train on purpose. Each dream was materially the same but each time it haunted me. Eventually, i gave up on trying to go to sleep, so i just sat awake in my temporary bed at Ghost's house. 

          "You ruined it."  I whispered over and over again to myself. "You ruined your chances with him." My breath hitched inside of my shallow chest. I felt like i was going insane, i should be in a mental hospital because who knows what i'll do next. I don't even know anymore. "You fucked everything up!" i ground my teeth together and shook from the tears. Out of anger i grabbed the nearest thing too me, a small table lamp, and tossed it across the room, smashing it against the door where it shattered.

            I had reached my breaking point when i opened my bedroom draw to find what i had hidden there.

*Ricky's POV*

         Alone, i sat in my room shuttering from the bitter cold leaking from the open window to the left of me. I was too depressed to even get up to close it. How pathetic can i get? 

         I brushed the stray hairs out of my face and rocked back and forth on my bed waiting for something. Waiting for Ryan to come get maybe. But why should i wait for someone i knew wasn't going to come? So i got off of my ass and threw on some shoes on my weak feet. If he wasn't going to come to me, i would come to him. I don't know where i got the courage from but i wasn't going to question it now when i'm half way out of the door. I knew exactly where Ryan was staying, with Ghost of course, and i was staying with Chris. Well, in correct terms, Chris was staying with me because they can no longer trust me on my own without Ryan's supervision. 

         "Where do you think you're going?" I heard Chris's unimpressed voice as i almost made it out of my apartment. 

         "I have to see Ryan." I said quickly. Just his name made my heart speed up, and that's how you know you're really in love. There was no doubt i was in love with Ryan anyways, but this was just proof.  

          "Aww." He squealed. 

          "Well i'm leaving now, bye." I practically ran out of my apartment and to my car. It didn't take long to get to where Ryan was staying, fortunately. And when i went to open the door, i found that it was already unlocked, so of course i just let myself in. 

           "Ryan?" I asked worriedly when i heard something loudly smash against the wall in front of me. That had to be Ryan. "Ryan?"I tried to open the door to the room he was staying in but this one was locked. From the other side of the door i heard what sounded like... sobbing? Was he really crying? "Ryan! Open the door!" My body was trembling with anxiety that shook through me like an earthquake. 

             "Go away!" His voice was rough and harsh. " Leave me... alone." He sobbed even harder. 

             "Let me in!" He still didn't. I feared the worse for what he was doing in there since he was very unstable. So i didn't think that i had any other choice but to break down his door, so i did. I used all my body weight to break through the door, into his pitch black room. Thank god Ghost was a heavy sleeper. 

            What i saw inside took my breath away. And not in a good way.

             "Ryan, what are you doing?" My jaw dropped as i rushed over to him. Ryan sat on the floor with blood covering just about everything, yet somehow he hadn't passed out. He had a sickening smile plastered on his pale face.

            "I knew you'd come, i knew i wasn't crazy." He chuckled psychotically to himself, laughing at the thoughts in his head after. I wouldn't worry about that now though, because the piece of what looked like a lamp was still clutched in his hand and pointed at the fleshy part of his forearm. In his other hand held a metal pistol, just about aimed at his skull. Oh Fuck. 

           "Where did you get that? Put that down, Ryan." I begged him, my eyes becoming glassy with tears. "Please put that down." I pleaded again. He saved me from killing myself once, so now i was going to save him. Cautiously, i approached him, putting my hand over the hand where he held the sharp piece of lamp. I was still afraid to set him off if i went for the gun. I couldn't stand losing him this way, or any way for that matter. "Ryan, please listen to me." The crazy smile still lingered on his face.

           "Do you love me?" His finger got tighter on the trigger. What have i done to him. 

           "Stop it" I freaked out.

           "Do you love me?!" He growled.

           "Yes! I love you to pieces, Ryan! Just put that down!" I managed to snatch the gun from his hand and throw it as far away from him as possible, causing him to whimper. "What were you thinking?" I choked back more tears and hugged him as tight as i could. Eventually i felt him hug me back with immense force, snuggling his face into my chest as if it were the last time.

            "I thought i lost you." He murmured.

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I'm so sorry this was so sad, and i'm not sure if this story will make it to 30 chapters, but definitely 20, and yes this will be the last sitkolson story in this series.

But i'm glad to say that my first Sitkolson story "When Love Met Destruction." has reached 10k... THANK YOU SO MUCH.

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