Unspoken (Sitkolson Threequel)

11| Call My Name, I Won't Be Tame.

(A/N: and now i have many cute gifs of Ricky like this one ;) and i will not fix the last chapter cuz y'all need drama in yo life lol... ENJOY)

Music: If It's Dead, We'll Kill It (by Motionless in White)

*Ricky's POV*

       I have to say, it's extremely awkward to go home to your house that you share with your husband who wants to divorce you after visiting Josh in the hospital. He didn't say much on the way home, but he insisted i get in the car with him when i wanted to walk all the way home. It wouldn't have been that long of a walk and it sure as hell wouldn't have been as uncomfortable as it is right now. 

        And i gave up on talking again. I really had nothing to say, actually. I had poured my heart out to him in the bathroom at the restaurant and he still refused to believe me about Frank and he still wanted a divorce. A divorce. We were barely married and he wanted a divorce.

        "Look, i don't want this to be awkward." Ryan finally spoke up because he knew i wouldn't. He doesn't want it to be awkward? He's the one who made it awkward! Yeah, i get it, he caught me in a bad situation that wasn't even what it looked like, but he's my husband, shouldn't he understand? I thought he should. I only shrugged in response, once again at a lack of words. "You're really not talking again?" Obviously. "Every time something bad happens you can't just shut down and not talk to anyone." He pulled up to our apartment. Ryan was wrong, When i shut down it was only him who i didn't talk to. 

         If he thinks i'm shutting down on him, then who am i to disagree? And with that i hopped out of the car and ran to the safety of my apartment. Yet it was no longer safe there. To think, it's my own apartment with y current husband and friend and i don't feel safe. Pathetic, i know. I read the small black clock on the side table when i first opened my apartment door. In small, red, digital letters it blinked '11:43'. How was it so late already?

        Waiting for Ryan to follow me into the house felt like hours, when it was really only probably minutes. And once he did come in, he went straight to our room probably to go to sleep. I understand that Ryan just wants to move on and not make things any worse than they already are, but how does he expect me to be able to fall asleep next to a man who doesn't want to be with me anymore? Trick question, i can't. 

         It was 12:30 when i decided to join him in our room. I figured he would be asleep by now so i wouldn't have to face any awkward confrontations with him, because i don't think i could handle that right now when i was on the brink of tears just thinking of the man i lost. The man i could have had forever and lost so suddenly. Thankfully he was sound asleep though. Well, not so soundly. When i walked in, i found Ryan rolling violently all over the bed in his sleep until he clutched my pillow so close to his chest that i thought it might explode. My heart swelled. 

        "Ricky..." He whined in his sleep. Why was he saying my name in his sleep? And even worse than that, he looked absolutely distressed about it. I couldn't stand to see him this way so i approached the bed so cautiously like i was trying not to wake an angered lion. "R-Ricky." He clutched my pillow even tighter before reaching out to me as if he knew i was standing there. I had to stop myself from reaching back out to him. "Love... need." He was speaking in broken fragments of his dream. I could only imagine what was going on in his head. 

          It really hit me and pulled my heart strings when i saw a glassy tear sliding down his rosy red cheek.Also, i could see him hyperventilating and struggling to breathe through rapid breaths. He was going to have another panic attack if i didn't do something. "R-Ricky.." He groaned again. Oh screw this whole 'Divorce' thing. I din't care that he didn't want to be with me anymore, so i grew a pair and comforted him in the only way i knew how. Slipping into my bed with him, i enfolded his struggling body into my arms. It was almost instant when he felt my presence, he relaxed. 

         "Shh...I'm here." I murmured as to not wake him. I wouldn't have spoken if he was awake. Hell, i wouldn't have done any of this if he was awake. I don't think he would let me, really. He was always so stubborn with his decisions that there was no way i could change his mind. But he wasn't awake, he was asleep and that's why i'm allowed to comfort him into relaxation. 

        "I'll always be here."

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See y'all were hating on me and now i give you fluff. Shame on you. lol jk love you guys! thank you for the 1k reads, let's keep that up!!!

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