Unspoken (Sitkolson Threequel)

4|Scary.

(A/N: Sorry for not updating as quickly as i would have liked to... but i was preoccupied with planning a band with my two friends and warped tour yesterday! [in which i met new years day, Christofer Drew, Jordan Sweeto, Damon Fizzy, and Nick Major (who was super nice!)] okay sorry ENJOY!)

Music: Devil's Night (by Motionless in White)

*Josh's POV*

       After witnessing what I had with Riley clasped in my arms, i felt an overwhelming serge of rage race through me. So, for the better of everyone, i left before i got too violent. Fastening  Riley into her car seat, I left as quickly as possible. I didn't want to tell Ryan what i had witnessed in fear that it would ruin Ricky and Ryan's Relationship. I mean, They just got married. 

       And maybe it wasn't what it looked like. Then again, Frank was on his knees and Ricky wasn't objecting. But the look in Ricky's eyes was lustful... or was it fear? No, it must have been lust. I mean if i were in Ricky's place, which i'm not, I'd think that Frank was a handsome guy... coming from a completely straight guy. 

      "Dada!" Riley squealed innocently. She didn't know what was happening so i don't blame her for being happy and playful. I was still so pissed at Ricky though. He just got married and here he goes to another guy for inappropriate things. What has poor Ryan done to him?! Absolutely nothing. I feel so bad for Ryan because he has done nothing to Ryan but love him to death. i could see in Ryan eyes the love and admiration he felt every time he looked at Ricky and what? Ricky looks back at him as just another relationship? I didn't think Ricky would do that, but i have been known to be wrong about impressions. I mean, look at what i thought about Mike Kuza. He turned out to be a pretty nice guy that absolutely loves Riley and playing with her. 

       "Fast!" She tugged on her seat belt that was attached to her car seat. She has been learning new words so i guess she was just saying random things. Looking back at the road, focusing on the street and the cars around me, i realized that i was actually going really fast. I was going 70 mph down a 40 mph street. I guess all the anger had gotten to my head and through frustration i kept speeding up. This was not safe. I'm not worried about myself getting hurt, but heaven forbid something happens to Riley. I'd be better off dead then, because she is not Ryan Ashley and I's life. 

       Eventually we arrived home, after i slowed down quite a bit so Riley wasn't so worried. I don't know what has gotten into me, I mean i know that Ricky being with Frank definitely pissed me off but that's no excuse for acting like this, is it?

       Grabbing Riley out of her car seat i ushered her into our house. Ryan Ashley wasn't home once again because she was working late at the tattoo shop, but i wasn't worried. Riley ran off to play with her toys as i sat in the kitchen to just think. I sat down on a high top stool against the marble counter and rested my head in my hands. Somehow, i was exhausted, almost to the point where i almost fell asleep then and there. Well, that is until I heard a loud CRASH!

       Jumping out of my seat, i ran to the sound. "Riley?" I called out, trying to find her and the sound at the same time. My dad like instincts took over as i searched for her. In the last weeks or so, i had become one of those over protective fathers, but it also came in handy because i knew every hiding spot that she would run to. I walked into my room, where she normally hid under my bed, when i saw almost the most horrific thing ever. On the floor in front of me lay my keyboard that had practically shattered. A mess of piano keys and hard plastic scattered on the floor. "RILEY!" I growled, in my low devilish voice. So much for calming down. 

        I practically flipped out on her as i bent down to find her cowering underneath my king size bed. "Get out here now!" I ordered as the rage flowed through me like adrenaline through veins. She slithered out, tears already streaming down her reddening face. 

        "Daddy!" She flinched as i raised my hands to pick her up. Did she really think i was going to hit her? I never have hit her before and no matter how angry i was i still never would. "Scary." I guess in understand that. My appearance is kind of scary in general let alone when i'm mad. She scampered away from me and probably to her room. Now i felt terrible. The pit of wasps in my stomach churned for yelling at her like i did. I should have been nicer, I should have told her that it was okay. It was only a keyboard, right? My favorite Keyboard. 

      "Riley, please." I sighed, following her trail of sobs to her room. It was decorated a light lavender with stuffed animals lining the walls and some scattered in the middle of the floor from her playing. She had a dresser full of clothes (mostly band clothes from the guys) and surprisingly she liked them. She wasn't the normal little girl who liked princesses and unicorns. Riley liked the Misfits and playing the keyboard with me, along with drumming her hands on the wall as if she were playing at a concert. She was turning out just like me, and i have no complaints. I loved that she didn't like the normal things, i love that she embraced her inner creativity. And i shouldn't have yelled at her. I'm such a horrible father.

     Finally i found her hiding under her small toddler bed, curled up in a ball. "Daddy's really sorry." I picked her up in her arms as she slightly struggled against me. I placed a kiss on her forehead and she calmed down a little. I could still see the tears glistening at the rims of her eyes. They gradually went away as i sang to her our newest song 'reincarnate'. I wasn't that good of a singer i don't think, but she seemed to enjoy it a lot. Of course i wasn't screaming which  could probably do, i was singing the acoustic version so i wouldn't scare her too much.

        "Crawling from hell, Falling from grace. And there is nothing left to take, leaving the past to the grave, so we can reincarnate." I sang softly as she fell asleep in my arms.

***************************************************************************

 i can't make Josh sing in person then i will make him sing in my story lol

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