Unspoken (Sitkolson Threequel)

10| Numbing Memory.

(A/N: Holy Moly look at Josh... Okay i'm finally updating again... ENJOY)

Music: The Sadness Will Never End (covered by D At Sea)

*Josh's POV*

       Numb. I guess that's how you would describe how i felt right now. I wasn't exactly unconscious but i wasn't awake either. In the background of my imagination i could hear small conversations occurring but it was all just white noise to me, so i didn't bother to pay attention to them.  Instead i decided to focus on the swirling and intertwining colors that frolicked throughout the depths of my mind and other creatures that i didn't even attempt to name. 

       "Jooossshhh"  The unnamed creatures sang in my ringing ears. I felt a smile creep up onto my lips because, well who wouldn't smile at such a beautiful, magical animal. She had pink hair and a purple body that was kind of shaped like a horse but had the face of a strange dog. "Josshhhh, stay with me foreverrrrr" She begged. A giggle erupted in my throat.

        "I'll never leave youuu." I spoke, but instead of sounding all faded and magical as the creature had sounded, my voice sounded all too real. I only ignored it though, because i was too happy in the state i had been in. 

          "We love youuu." More creatures like the first one had surrounded me and placed gentle kisses all over my tingling body. Where was I? I had no clue but i wasn't going to complain. 

        "I love you moreee." Once again my voice sounded rough and real. Slowly my imagination started to fade away into a gradual darkness until all i saw was black. I had to use all my energy to get my eyes to flutter open to the blinding white light above my head. 

      "Woah, what the fuck?" My vision eventually returned to me as i looked Chris dead in the face. "I don't know what kind of drugs they put you on, but damn can i have some?" He chuckled. I was embarrassed that i had said that all aloud while i was in a dream like state of mind, but there's nothing i can do about that now. I used my weak hands to push the rest of my body up into a sitting position on the cushioned bed i was sitting on. It didn't take me long to realize that i was in a hospital once again, but i couldn't remember what has landed me in here this time. 

     Taking a glance around the room i soaked in all of my surroundings. I took a look at just about everything from the plain walls to the syringes and bottles in the slightly opened drawers to my side to Ricky's black eye and still bloody nose. Woah, when did that happen?

       "Maybe you should be in the hospital instead of me, Ricky." I managed a short laugh which only resulted in a fit of coughing and wheezing. He gave me a small sad smile which i only frowned at.  I also noticed that Ryan stood at the opposite side of the room as Ricky. I swear if they're fighting again i will lock them in one room together until they figure everything out.

*Flashback in Ryan's POV*

          I couldn't stop myself. It's like my body was acting before my mind could even comprehend my actions and god did i regret that. But i didn't regret the feeling of relief i felt as the anger left my body when my clenched fist connected with Ricky's sharp cheekbone. Yet i couldn't help the horrible scream that he let out when i hit him that still haunted me. And even worse, Frank's smug grin.

        "Ryan..." Was all Ricky managed to say to me before the tears buried him in sorrows. I felt bad for him, i truly did, and i knew i shouldn't have hit him because i love him to death , but what else was i supposed to do? I didn't think i had a lot of options at the time. 

       "I want a divorce." My voice was sickeningly emotionless, but if i had shown any of what i was feeling right in that moment then i would have been bawling my eyes out.  I had to be strong. At least one of us had to be strong in order for this to work. I couldn't stand getting my heart broken over and over again by the love of my life, no matter how much i did love him. And i know i couldn't even imagine a life without Ricky but i had to. I had to move on because was our relationship really more important than our music career? I wasn't sure. 

         "B-but Ryan, i love you." I payed no attention to Frank leaving when Ricky pleaded with me. But i was proving myself stubborn and ill-minded. 

         "I love you too." My voice quivered, but i regained my confidence.  

          "You have to believe me, it was all Frank!" He hopped off of the counter top and approached me cautiously. "Please, Ryan, i love you." His face contorted in agony and sadness. I didn't have the heart to say anything back to him as he wrapped his thin arms around my waist, but i didn't reciprocate the action. Ricky buried his head in my rapidly rising and falling chest and i gave into hugging him back. He felt so right in my arms but i knew it wouldn't work. "We can do this... We can work this out." I heard all the pain in his voice.

          Taking in a deep breathe and letting out an aching sigh, i spoke, "No we can't."

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Oh my goodness, Ryan grew a pair and punched poor little Ricky and now they're getting divorced, how do y'all feel about that????

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