Unspoken (Sitkolson Threequel)

22| Envy.

(A/N: Ricky looks like an evil pumpkin lol so cute ENJOY)

Music: Wildest Dreams (Madilyn Bailey cover)

*Ricky's POV*

          It took a while to get Ghost to calm down to a point where he'd actually talk to us. I couldn't imagine how he felt like after his boyfriend left him because of a child. Oh wait, i know exactly how it feels. But i wasn't holding grudges or anything. Not. At. All.

          "He-" Ghost sucked in uneven breaths in between sobbing out his words. "Left me!" I did feel bad for him, don't get me wrong. Nobody should be abandoned because they're pregnant. I could only imagine how hard it is to carry a child all by yourself. It's not an easy task, whether you are a girl or a guy. "And look at me! I'm so fat!" His eyes clouded over with anger at probably himself.

          "Oh, no, that's not fat, that's a baby! a beautiful baby!" Ryan tried to make him feel better, but was that really possible? His boyfriend just left him and i'm not positive that he's coming back. I mean, sure he will, we have to perform, we have to record, but he does not have to talk to Ghost, let alone take care of him. That's his decision, isn't it?

         Something was brewing deep in the shallow pit of my empty stomach and i'm certain that it wasn't empathy for Ghost, not even sympathy. Does that make me a bad person because i don't sympathise for him? He got enough sympathy and pity from Ryan so why did he need me? He didn't. The reassurance he was getting from Ryan was enough for the rest of his life. And yeah i was envious of it. He didn't comfort me this way when i found out about Caroline. And now look where she is! She's fucking dead!

         "You're anything but fat." Ryan took Ghost into a tight hug that sent me over the edge. Oh no, i wasn't going to cause a scene. What good was a scene going to do? Nothing, so i just got up from my spot and left. Ryan never told me that i wasn't fat or that i wasn't too skinny like so many other's have pointed out. In fact, he's always bothered me about how bony i was and how i should eat more. Sure, i skip a couple of meals, but it's accidental. Maybe i'm just not that hungry. Maybe if he told me how handsome and good i looked then i would gain an appetite. Maybe...

         "Chris is a dick for leaving you." Ryan consoled him, resting his hand reassuringly on Ghost's shoulder.

         "You mean like you left me?" I muttered to myself, not positive that anyone could hear me, if they were even paying attention to me anyways.

          My thoughts began to take over my brain and fluster me, until i felt like i had been punched in the gut and had gotten the wind knocked right out of me. Not like they would notice. I tried to steady my breathing as i pushed open the door and fled the apartment to just sit alone and think things through. Surely i was overreacting about this. How many times has Ryan said he loved everything about me? Just about a thousand times. Just calm down, Ricky. Maybe a little alone time would fix things.

         But i wasn't alone. I heard a sob from maybe about five feet away from me. Sitting beside me (because i had collapsed to the ground on my knees from the lack of breath) was Chris who was curled up in a ball with his back against the wall and his knees tucked tightly into his chest, his tense arms holding them in place.

         "Chris?" My voice was weak, but i'm sure he could hear me, although his sobbing was quite loud. I seemed to have caught him off guard because he looked startled when he looked up at me, holding his breath in his chest. He tried to wipe the makeup stained tears off of his cheeks, but only managed to smudge them more over his skin. "Were you out here the whole time?" I forgot all about my own self pity because that's what you do for people who are in pain especially when they're your friend.

         "No." He lied sniffling back another tear and sighing sloppily, hitting his head against the wall as he looked away from me.

         "What are you doing out here?" I scooted closer to him, afraid to get to close because i didn't want to crowd him.

         "What does it matter anyways? Everyone thinks i'm a dick anyways." He clenched his muscled hands into fists. "What, did you just come out here to yell at me more? Like i didn't already know i'm a douche bag." He bit his lip, hard enough that i saw a bead of crimson blood spring up like a pinprick near one of his metallic lip piercings.

         "You're not a douche bag, i probably would have done the same thing." He seemed to be more relaxed now that i wasn't going to yell at him like everyone else. The truth of the matter is, he was the only one who stood by my side when everyone else took Ryan's side in one of our numerous fights, so i needed to stick with him through all of this. To pay him back for his favour that he did me.

          "I just, i can't be a father, i scare kids away! That's just what i do. It sucks, i love Ghost so much but i can't take all this pressure anymore, i don't know what to do with myself." He vented.

          "I know how you feel." I agreed with him.

          "And now i look like the bad guy with all of this, and i just want to make everyone happy, but how can i make everyone happy when i'm one big fuck up!" I took his hand in mine to calm him down.

          "Listen, i promise to hold you up, if you promise to hold me up, okay?" I made a deal with him, because we both are always somehow the bad guy in our situations.

         "Deal." I think i just saw his lip upturn into a brief flash of a smile.

         "Spit shake." I held out my hand.

         "Eww, you're gross!" I managed to make him chuckle, even if it were only for a second.

         "Spit shake or i'll steal all of your chicken wings." I glared sarcastically. he sighed, rolling his eyes before we both spit on our hands and shook them.

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I'm kind of stuck between shipping sitkolson hard on (because for squidgy's sake i'd like to think me and my friend created it) and shipping Cricky... so threesome lol jk

What do you think of the chapter? And i think i'm going to start upping the requirements with each chapter but idk

65 reads, 6 comments, or 15 votes= i update....

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