This Love 2

chapter 77

Cleo's P.O.V -

It's freezing cold in this stupid therapy office. I hate this place, but it's been two weeks since I've been coming here and I haven't had a nightmare in one week and three days, but I still sleep with Niall. The other night I slept across from him in the bed just to see if I'd have a bad dream and I didn't.

"What if you two sleep apart? Try that. Not in the same bed, in two different rooms. I want to see if this is helping you in a massive way. Okay? Come back and tell me." My therapist tells me, but looks at Niall because she knows he'll listen instead of me.

-

I sneak back into our bedroom and get in the bed without Niall noticing. Sleeping alone in a different room in my own bed was kind of uncomfortable. I know some people would die to have their own room, but I want to share one master bedroom with my love bug.

"Cleo? What are you doing in here?" Niall got up to use the bathroom and came back, nearly crushing me from plopping down on me.

"Are you okay? I didn't even know you were in here? Why aren't you in the other bed?" He yawns, covering his mouth, then scratching his messy hair.

"You hurt my back a little from plopping down. I can sleep, I just prefer to sleep in here." I'm already dozing off just talking.

"Well, at least you can sleep without having bad dreams. I told you therapy wouldn't be bad." He rubs my back and I mentally roll my eyes.

-

I told the therapist and she seemed proud of me. All she asked me to do is describe every scene in my dreams and the situation. Me talking to her about it makes my stress go away.

We haven't been doing any intimate in a while as well. Mainly because I don't want to. I'm not good at it and I cry every time because it hurts. I guess it isn't his fault, but either way I'm still in pain afterwards.

"Maybe something touchy-feely can get your mind off of things. A lot of my clients say that it works tremendously, but you have to take control. Be in charge. In your nightmares, you don't have any power. If you try this time, you can practice and over time you will feel in control." The woman says whenever Niall is invited inside after my session.

"Sounds fun." Niall says, erupting laughs out of everyone.

Of course he's excited.

In the car, I think about the correct position that I'm supposed to be in tonight.

"You're blushing." Niall blurts, glancing over at me with a smirk on his face.

"I was um, um thinking about, um, Snowball.. because um, you know- she's just an adorable pet.. ya know?" I gather up a sentence that probably makes zero sense.

"Snowball is making you blush?" The way he's driving with one hand is oddly attractive, but I keep that to myself. Niall's eyes stay focused on the road while he's grinning due to my terrible lie.

At home, Piper and Harry don't ask about the therapy session because they know it isn't their business. We order pizza and have a movie night which I tried to pretend I fall asleep on.

"Cleo look! Snowball ran out of the back door!" Piper shouts. I get off of Niall and look in the backyard, but she isn't out here.

"I don't see her-" I turn back around to come in the house and Niall is petting Snowball with that stupid grin on his face.

"I told you she wasn't asleep." Piper says while Harry laughs.

I walk back over to Niall and try not to smile, but I end up doing it anyway.

"We're going to sleep guys. Goodnight." Harry yawns and smacks Piper's butt playfully.

"I'm gonna go to sleep too." Niall says and I follow him upstairs. Once he gets in the bed, I shake his shoulder trying to wake him up.

Niall's P.O.V -

"What about.. you know, w-what the therapist said.. to do. Are we, um-" I listen to her nervous voice and turn around on my back.

"Only if you want to. It's up to you." Cleo gets in bed on the other side sitting Indian style.

"Okay.." She tucks her hair behind her ears and sits up, sitting on her legs with her butt almost touching her feet. "I'm ready." I sit up straight slowly to look at her.

"You have to make the moves this time, not me. The woman said you have to have control of this." I'm excited and nervous for her at the same time.

"Can you at least start it off?" It's just a kiss and she knows how to do that.

"Cleo, you know how alre-"

"Please?" Her pleading eyes make me give in and I get off of the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"You have to get me to the bed. Come on. This is apart of it." I try not to laugh as she walks over fiddling with her fingers.

I peck her lips and she huffs. "That isn't the kind of kiss I meant."

I move one of my hands to the side of her neck, then bend down a bit to her height and kiss the way "she meant". I end up having to move her hands around my neck because she kept messing with them.

She tried to pull my shirt off, but she isn't tall enough to get it off, so I did it for her. I undressed her down to her bra and panties, but she's finding it difficult to unbuckle my jeans.

"Niall, can you do th-"

"No. You have to do these things." I stand up, so that she can undo it.

Cleo pulls me back down and kisses me until we end up on the bed. Scooting to the top of the bed was difficult since she was on me trying to open a condom.

"Use your teeth to open it." I say and she smiles once she got it. I put it on because she didn't even know what to do with it.

Cleo goes back to kissing me while pulling my boxers down at the same time. Once we're both bare, Cleo looks at me and doesn't know what to do.

She gets on top and turns the lamp off. I help aid her on where my length it and she winced multiple times. I adjust myself once we're connected.

"Just start off with kissing again first." I tell her. Sniffles are heard clearly whenever our lips press together. I move my hips up to help her, but she stops kissing me and sits up which felt good, so I buck my hips involuntarily.

"Cleo?" I listen to quiet sobs before I turn the lamp on. "What's wrong? Is it because you're nervous?"

"N-no," She keeps her hands up to her face wiping her cheeks and eyes. "It h- hurts. This is hurting me."

I sit up in hopes of making it easier, but that just caused her to cry even harder.

"I don't like seeing you in pain or crying. We're going to stop." I move her backwards and she lays down with her legs closed, crying into the pillow.

"Baby, are you okay?" I lay in front of her with my boxers on and rub her back. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It isn't y-your fault. I wasn't ready." She hiccups and I get in the shower, then help her in the shower.

"It hurts to walk." Cleo says as I carry her back to the bed and give her clothes to change into.

I apologize multiple times to her until she tells me to shut up. I can't help to think that this is my fault. Cleo is in pain because of me. No matter how many times she tells me that it isn't I feel like it is.

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