The Things I Couldn't Say (CartmanxButters)

Teaching Old Dogs New Tricks

"Fuck......." I grumbled, trying to pat down my messy hair. My head was sore from the rage and tears last night and my eyes had a horrible bloodshot look to them.

I was incredibly lucky it was a Sunday, that way I probably didn't have to talk to anyone, even though people didn't exactly talk to me much, either. However, fresh air might be good.... Maybe I should go for a walk.

I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and walked out the door, fixing my hair as I did so. Taking a deep breath of the cold air, I walked down the road, left to the sound of my thoughts and the snowflakes falling to the ground.

How could I turn this around? How could I get him to like me? There has to be a way. A potion? A spell? A gun? Maybe telling him directly about my feelings for him and wait to see if maybe he feels the same?

Nah, that's stupid.

Let's see, what kind of stuff does he like..... Maybe I could......

Be....nice?

I know it didn't work the last time, but I was young! Impulsive! Annoying! Rude! But now it's different! I'm older! Still impulsive, annoying, and rude, but older! I can be nice! I can care! I can be accepting and shit!

That's right, today is the day that Eric Theodore Cartman turns his life around! It's a new time, the time of Eric, and now I'll do whatever it takes to get my Butters!

That's right, it's my turn to be the hero! Look out world! I smiled widely to myself as I thought of my new life. Look out for the brand new Eric Cartma-

My thoughts were interrupted as I slipped on a piece of ice and slammed into a figure, sending both of us toppling to the ground.

"OWW! What the fuck, fatass?!" Stan yelled, sounding pissed.

"It's not my fucking fault you son of a-" I began. Wait Cartman, be nice, remember?! I took a deep breath and started again. "What I meant to say was...." I tried not to gag. "I'm s-sorry. I should've payed more attention to where I was going." Damn, this whole 'nice' thing is pretty hard.

"What the fuck....?" Stan raised an eyebrow. "Why are you being nice all of a sudden?"

"No reason..." I respond, standing. I brush off my coat and offer him my hand. "W-Would you like some help?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing......p-pal...." I say awkwardly, then attempt a small smile.

He paused, then cautiously took my hand and stood. "What kind of drugs are you on, fatass?"

I gritted my teeth at the name. "Can't I just try to be nice to you?"

"No dude. No you can't."

"Well, I'm trying to be different now!"

He scoffed. "Good fucking luck. You won't even last a day."

"Watch me." I growled, and continued my walk.

Damn. Being nice to people you want to burn to death slowly is pretty hard.

The landscape was beautiful, and the only sound was the soft snowflakes falling to the ground. Not gonna lie, this town wasn't always bad. In fact, it'd kinda grown on me. Even though most of the people here hated me, I still can't fathom the idea of leaving this shitty little place.

My face had started to burn from the cold wind blowing in my face, so I stopped into the nearby coffee shop and ordered a dark roast. I took the warm cup and sat down to drink, hearing talking shortly after.