The Things I Couldn't Say (CartmanxButters)

Rumors Are Like Wildfires

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

It can't be time to wake up already, it's only......5 a.m.?!? I still have an hour to sleep! Why is my alarm going off?!

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

I look at my clock, shocked to see that it wasn't the source of the vibrating.

"What the fu-"

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My phone? Who the fuck would call me at five in the morning?!

"Hello?" I snap, annoyed that some dick woke me up from my dreamless slumber.

"Why so cranky, Sleeping Beauty?" A cocky voice teased.

"God damnit Kenny, what do you want? It's five in the fucking morning!"

"I want you to make a promise with me."

"I don't give a shit about promises at five in the fucking-"

"STOP TALKING AND LISTEN TO ME YOU FAT FUCK."

Not gonna lie, I was a bit taken aback by this. Kenny usually isn't this bad.... Why the fuck does he hate me so much?

"Anyway," he began again, "There's something we need to talk about. Well, more like someone."

I knew immediately who he meant. "What do you want with Butters?"

"It's not a matter of wanting something from him, I just want him. And you're fucking that up. So just get it through your thick skull that he'll never like you back and stop perusing him."

"Or fucking what, you poor piece of white trash?"

"Well someone's awfully nice."

"Now isn't exactly the fucking time for niceness. Now, what's gonna happen if I keep going after Butters?" I was sitting up now, an angered expression on my face.

"Well, first off, you'll be heartbroken. Secondly, let's just say that South Park is a pretty small town. Everybody knows everybody. A few rumors can mess up everything for you."

My jay dropped to the floor. "Is that....a threat?!"

He chuckled, an evil, corrupted sound that reminds me of the villains from the spy movies. Not the crazy ones, or the eccentric ones, but the calm ones. The quiet ones. The ones who calculated everything in advance. The elegant, cruel, evil sons of bitches with the master plan, not caring who died in the process. That's kinda the way Kenny was now. Evil. Strange. Thinking. Well-calculated. "It's not a threat, Cartman...." I could hear the venom in his voice very clearly. "It's a promise."

There was a pause. I didn't speak, I couldn't muster up the courage to.

"So, what do ya say? Accept my offer?" He asked smugly.

I swallowed, trying to lessen the lump in my throat.

"Burn in hell, bitch." I spat before hanging up.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. Who knows what Kenny's gonna say.

Well, there's no way I'm getting back to sleep now.